PositiveSingles.com - the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site! Herpes Survival Kit - a specially designed pack containing everything you need to combat herpes and cold sore outbreaks (at a minimum cost to your wallet).

only search Racoon.com

"The Good News about the Bad News - 
Herpes: Everything You Need to Know
"  
Terri Warren's new book - which we do endorse.


First time visitor? Please Learn about Registering and read our policy page.
{Home}{Awareness}{Research}{Treatment}{HHP FAQ}{Bookstore}{Bio/Info Page}

The Original Herpes Home Page Discussion Forums

Subject: "Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
Printer-friendly copy     Email this topic to a friend    
Conferences Under 25, (Give or take a few) Topic #1679
Reading Topic #1679
Hey_Be_Fine
Member since Jan-4-09
4 posts
Jan-04-09, 10:39 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Hey_Be_Fine Click to send private message to Hey_Be_Fine Click to add this user to your buddy list  
"Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
 
   First of all I want to say that I think all of you are amazing, I've been having the most terrifying week of my life. In the fifteen minutes I've spent on this board I've been helped so much, I'm no longer convinced that I'll to spend my days completely alone and ridiculed.

... despite this, I'm so scared, and I can't stop crying. Although all of your stories and encouragement are very inspiring, I can't stop thinking about how one, ONE stupid choice that I could have easily avoided is now going to completely tear me up. I keep thinking hey... this shouldn't be happening to me. I'm 20, attractive, doing extremely well at a university ranked in the top 1% of the nation, graduating next year with plans for going ivy for grad school, etc (I'm sorry for this brief moment of conceit, I'm feeling worthless and trying to improve my confidence somewhat.)

I haven't been diagnosed yet, but as soon as I drive back up to school (tomorrow) I am going to make an appointment with Planned Parenthood. I am trying to prepare myself for the news, as I am reasonably certain that I have it. One of the worst things I'm dealing with right now is loneliness. I'm leaving home for the spring semester at my university and in this state of weakness I'm going to be more homesick than ever. I think I'm crying more right now about leaving my parents and being truly alone than I am about the prospect of having herpes- how crazy is that? In this semester, I'm taking a heavy course load and applying for summer internships, so I'm also terrified about getting the results and ruining my future because I can't focus on studying.

I feel like I have no one- I can't tell any of my friends about this, I don't have a boyfriend for support, and again, I'll be leaving my mom and dad. That's why I'm here to ask you all... on the day that I get my results back/ go to Planned Parenthood for the test, would anyone mind talking to me on AIM? I don't know what else to do. I feel so alone.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female auntiejessiadmin Jan-04-09 1
     RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female Hey_Be_Fine Jan-04-09 3
         RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female Hey_Be_Fine Jan-04-09 5
  RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female Angelika Jan-04-09 2
     RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female Hey_Be_Fine Jan-04-09 4
         RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female C16679admin Jan-05-09 6
             RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female auntiejessiadmin Jan-05-09 7
  RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female cheer621 Jan-19-09 8
     RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female auntiejessiadmin Jan-19-09 9
  RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female unknown14 Aug-10-13 10

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic
auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Jan-04-09, 10:57 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to auntiejessi Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
1. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #0
 
I don't have AIM, but what is it that makes you think you have herpes?

I promise you that nothing you are thinking about herpes will be close to the reality of what you will experience. If you are having your first outbreak now, then this will most likely be the worst physical pain it will ever cause you.

1 in 4 have genital herpes type 2, and 30-50% of all new genital herpes infections are type 1. (Make sure they type a culture for you, and argue if you have to. Its important to know, whatever they might say.)

You will find that most people will not even blink when you tell them, especially if you educate yourself on it. If you think its not a big deal, then they won't either.

BUT... getting ahead of ourselves here. You don't even know that you have it, and your semester will be ruined, and you will be homesick, not to mention your internship for the summer lol. I'm teasing, but don't give yourself such a negative prophecy to fulfill. If you remind yourself that its a stupid virus that you don't even know you have yet, and you are a strong, confident, intelligent, capable woman, this won't ruin anything.

And you can always post here, and I'm sure others use AIM.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Hey_Be_Fine
Member since Jan-4-09
4 posts
Jan-04-09, 11:21 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Hey_Be_Fine Click to send private message to Hey_Be_Fine Click to add this user to your buddy list  
3. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #1
 
   Alright, well, here's my story.

About a month ago, on my way back up to school I got really sick really fast with flu-like symptoms (mild chills that I didn't make any better by not grabbing a blanket out of the back and warming up, kind of an idiot here sometimes), I threw up once in the bathroom at the rest stop, and once I got home I passed out for a while. Woke up the next day with a yeast infection (I wrote these instances off as follows: I was in a car for 8 hours, so I got carsick. I'm overly dramatic, so I assumed the worst and I think made myself sicker, and ugh, stupid of me, I didn't change my tampon for like EVER and it got a little, er, damp in my panties... thus the yeast infection. Stupid, but, I'm uh... stupid sometimes.) Anyways, my vagina itched mildly and there was discharge. My skin peels a lot down there (also on my nipples, is that normal btw?) when I get those infections, and in peeling back skin that I shouldn't have been messing with, I made a little part of my vulva bleed and eventually scab over. The flu-like symptoms and itching disappeared in about 30 hours, I didn't break out in lesions or sores (used a mirror to stare so hard at my vagina that I think I diagnosed myself with five other sicknesses, at once even Toxic Shock Syndrome- rushed to the health care center on campus before I realized that I was being foolish) but the seed of doubt was already planted.

I kind of grew complacent after that- until now. A month after, I've been experiencing an EXTREMELY faint burning in the vaginal region that crops up intermittently- for four hours I'll be fine, and then like oh man there it is again. I've been peeing a lot more now too. However, again, I don't have any visible sores. Let me say, my vagina has never in the past acted up this much. I've had maybe four yeast infections ever, about 2 UTIs, and a painless boil from constant masturbating (skin gets clogged down there too yeaaah). I wouldn't be so worried, but about 10 days before the flu-like symptoms showed up, I had sex/gave brief oral to a guy who I've been totally dying to have sex with for, like, a year (he didn't go down on me, so that rules out type 1). He's a decently good friend of mine, but really actually kind of mean to girls and semi-promiscuous (not REALLY bad, but a charmer- you know the type. I refresh his facebook page now every five minutes and think REALLY, NO REALLY, YOU CAN'T HAVE THAT!)

So, I put two and two together. I'm sorry for this long-winded explanation and I am not going to rely on my self-diagnoses, I don't want to spread it if I have it, and I need some peace of mind.

I have done extensive reading about herpes. I know that you can still have it without having sores, or maybe I have a minuscule one somewhere and I'm passing it off as a shaving bump. I don't know. To me, my symptoms seem pretty indicative of it.

Thank you so much for your support <3


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Hey_Be_Fine
Member since Jan-4-09
4 posts
Jan-04-09, 11:32 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Hey_Be_Fine Click to send private message to Hey_Be_Fine Click to add this user to your buddy list  
5. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #3
 
   OH and I almost forgot, about two days after the flu-like symptoms, the soles of my feet kind of... burnt? It was slightly uncomfortable to walk, and when I curled my toes up, it hurt too. That was gone in about 24 hours, maybe less.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Angelika
Member since Aug-18-08
2252 posts
Jan-04-09, 11:03 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to Angelika Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #0
 
   first of, get diagnosed. even if you are pretty certain you have it, you might just have type 1 herpes which you could have gotten through oral sex if you didn't have antibodies against it as most people do (b/c they have cold sores which is type 1 herpes). Anyway, if you received oral sex from someone who has this virus, you could have gotten it in the genital area (even if there were no sores present).

Genital herpes type often never recurs again and it's rarely transmitted. Most people (60 to 90 percent) already have it anyway and can't get it again in a different area of their body. So it would just be like having cold sores somewhere other than your lips (plus having it genitally means you would be less contagious than having it orally).

That said, if it's type 2 then it's still not the end of the world obviously. You might not have many outbreaks and even if you do, they are very well controlled with antivirals. Also, 25 percent of women have type 2 herpes so it's still pretty common (albeit not as common as type 1 herpes).

Now, many doctors at Planned Parenthood (or other places) might not know this information I just gave you. They might tell you that if you have herpes genitally that it is almost always type 2. Don't believe them. About thirty to fifty percent of new genital infections are actually type 1. So ask them to swab your sores AND TYPE the results even if they try to talk you out of it. You can go as far as telling them that you didn't have genital sex, only oral if they give you hard time about typing the results.

If your sores are older than 24 to 48 hours, your results might come back as false negatives. In that case you might want to get an IgG type specific blood test - keep in mind that it might take 12 to 16 weeks to develop antibodies so you might have to wait that long to get accurate results although many people become positive much sooner. You might want to get the blood test right now as well b/c that will tell you what infection you already had even before these symptoms started (for example if the blood test comes back positive for type 1 herpes already even though you just got these herpes symptoms for the first time recently you will know that what you are having genitally is most likely type 2 and your type 1 infection indicates cold sores that you've had for a while. Also, if you've had cold sores since being a kid or something like that, then it's more likely this new infection is type 2. But let's say you come back negative for both types right now and you had protected genital intercourse but unprotected oral sex with someone, there is a good chance that you actually have type 1 right now).

Hope I am not overwhelming you too much.

Read this in the meantime to educate yourself even more (preferably before you go see a doctor b/c many doctors are really ignorant about herpes) http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

Who among mortals may boast himself born with a fortune beyond reach of harm? - Aeschylus


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Hey_Be_Fine
Member since Jan-4-09
4 posts
Jan-04-09, 11:24 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Hey_Be_Fine Click to send private message to Hey_Be_Fine Click to add this user to your buddy list  
4. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #2
 
   Thanks a lot for this. I posted my story and conditions above to shed some light on the situation. <3


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
C16679admin
Member since Aug-29-06
9733 posts
Jan-05-09, 08:27 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to C16679 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
6. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #4
 
   Well I agree with what you've already been told about getting diagnosed. If it is Herpes, if you've ever been sexually active prior to this guy who did NOT give you oral, you still could have an older infection you didn't notice, so it could be Type I OR Type II.

I hear what you're saying about the flu symptoms and the weird sensations on your feet. Who knows? But usually the flu-like symptoms from an HSV infection wouldn't cause you to throw up. That does sound quite possibly like a stomach flu.

I don't know about the peeling skin on the vagina or nipples. That doesn't seem all that normal to me (not saying it's anything scary, I just don't think it's the norm). There are other less-known genital conditions, the only one I can think of is that you can actually have exzema in that area...I think that could cause peeling and itching. Also, if you really did have a yeast infection and treated it, it's possible the ph down there is out of whack and maybe you ended up with a mild case of BV, which could totally cause on and off bouts of itching.

It's absolutely true that you can have Herpes without obvious classic sores, but I also don't know that what you've described falls into the 100% correct diagnosis category. I would see if Planned Parenthood will do a vaginal or endocervical culture or look at your vaginal secretions under a microscope to see if you have any infections like BV, yeast, or Strep B. Go ahead and do whatever STD testing they will perform (I always think that's a smart idea to do regularly if you're sexually active). If they will do a PCR swab for Herpes (if you don't have a regular sore, they really can't culture anything, but they can swab regular looking skin), have them do it. You can get a type-specific IgG blood test, but it can take up to 16 weeks to seroconvert (I can't remember when you said you were with the guy). And, of course, you could talk to the guy and ask him if he would get the blood test for Herpes...

Hang in there. Let us know what happenes.

C.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Jan-05-09, 09:45 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to auntiejessi Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
7. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #6
 
I wonder if you have some kind of dermatitis or are allergic to a soap or body wash you use, and that's causing the nipple thing.

AJ

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
cheer621
Member since Jan-16-09
6 posts
Jan-19-09, 01:54 AM (CST)
Click to EMail cheer621 Click to send private message to cheer621 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
8. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #0
 
   I am almost in the exact same boat. I am 21 and have just been diagnosed. I am scared out of my mind. I just keep thinking that i am too good to have this all happen to me. I go to school full time, im doing well and im attractive like you and its not like im a whore. i dont just sleep with random people. I feel alone and dirty, not only that, but i am in so much pain and discomfort. I cant tell anyone either. My parents would freak if they knew. I have begun looking at it in a new light however and like to believe that i might have a calling with this whole situation. After i come to terms with the whole situation and i learn all there is to know.... i think i would like to share my story. Speek at high schools to health classes and bring life to the idea of having the virus. and show teens that anyone can get it. I always thought "it will never happen to me" and now that it has i hope that i may be able to allow others to learn from my mistakes and save themselves from this same kind of situation. I feel i must make the best of the situation and and do my part to spread awareness.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Jan-19-09, 09:06 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to auntiejessi Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
9. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #8
 
You just hit on a really important point - it can happen to anyone, and herpes is not a value statement about you.

When I got herpes, I had my Master's degree, and was working in an std clinic, of all places. I was in a long term serious relationship.

We have students, teachers, medical professionals, engineers, office managers, realtors, etc. We have people that got ghsv1 from oral and they haven't even had intercourse yet. We have people who've had 1 or 2 partners ever, and some who've had a lot more than that. We have married people, single people, and people somewhere in between.

Herpes doesn't care about that stuff.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
unknown14
Member since Aug-9-13
2 posts
Aug-10-13, 00:36 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to unknown14 Click to add this user to your buddy list  
10. "RE: Please help, I can't stop crying. 20yr old female"
In response to message #0
 
   You're not alone. In fact, I just made my account on this website. I'm basically in the same boat as you. 20-years-old, great academic standing, huge social circles (at school and at home) and I'm an attractive, outgoing guy.

I never thought this would happen to me. I'm not 100% positive that I have it yet, but I'm pretty sure I do and I get the results back on Wednesday. I literally threw up from being nervous and couldn't stop tearing up. I broke down and I'm ashamed of myself.

I wanted to head back to college but there's no way in hell I'm telling my friends about what I've got, and I guess, for now, I just need to focus on getting my life together by remembering all I have to be grateful for. Hey, at least we're not blind, have all our limbs, and don't have a LIFE threatening disease. It's sort of a relief to find another 20-year-old person that's in the same boat as me.

I feel awful even having an account on this site. I don't know sometimes. Even made my name unknown14 because I'm so paranoid about someone finding out.

Either way, I know I'll be fine. You can have sex with herpes when there's no outbreaks and you use a condom, so that's a huge thumbs up for me.

Anyway, hoped this helped.

-unknown


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

 

Advertisements appearing on this page do not constitute any endorsement of 
those products or services by HHP or its management.

All opinions expressed here by the HHP, its management and participants constitute just that, opinions.
No medical relationship with any participant is implied in any way.
Each individual's personal doctor is responsible for the medical advice and care of that person.