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Subject: "When I see the guy that did this to me..."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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IsItOver
Member since Nov-21-08
21 posts
Oct-27-09, 10:59 AM (CST)
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"When I see the guy that did this to me..."
 
So I run into the guy that gave me herpes from time to time. It's weird because he's the one person I see and basically run in another direction. I was raped when I was 15 and when I see that guy I can stand up tall and I don't fear him at all, but when I see the guy that gave me herpes I wilt away and all my strength leaves me.

Does anybody else experience feelings like this? Does anybody have any advise on how to be strong around this asshole?


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... Syd_Marie Nov-10-09 1
     RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... IsItOver Dec-24-09 4
         RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... Native Bum Oct-06-10 6
  RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... folie Dec-24-09 2
     RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... IsItOver Dec-24-09 3
         RE: When I see the guy that did this to me... Raven00144 Dec-25-09 5

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Syd_Marie
Member since Jul-11-09
19 posts
Nov-10-09, 08:00 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #0
 
   I haven't seen the guy that gave it to me yet. It's been over a year. It's like he disappeared into thin air without ever talking to me or apologizing. I don't know what I'd do if I saw him. Sometimes I think I would just walk pass and say nothing like I didn't even know him. Sometimes I think I'd kill him...I think that a lot. I have no respect for this guy so I probably would just walk by and not even acknowledge him. So I'd like some advise too bcuz if/when I see him...I really don't know what I'm going to do


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IsItOver
Member since Nov-21-08
21 posts
Dec-24-09, 09:16 PM (CST)
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4. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #1
 
Since I made this post I saw the guy again. I saw him on Halloween as I was driving through town. He was walking down the street and I was driving in my car. While I was stopped at a red light he was leaned over a wall. It looked like he was puking. He had put on about 50 lbs, was walking alone down the street, drunk, and puking with his ass crack hanging out.

Seeing him like that really made me see him in a different light. Maybe about 3 weeks later I saw him again while I was walking down the street. I looked at him, nodded, and walked on... didn't even miss a step. I now know that I'm a good person and he didn't ruin my life. I have no fear of this douche any more.


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Native Bum
Member since Oct-2-10
12 posts
Oct-06-10, 01:49 AM (CST)
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6. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #4
 

LMFAOOOO!!!! Dude, how perfect is that? Life just handed you exactly what you needed, this couldn't have gotten anymore better.

Cheers,
E M I L I A


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folie
Member since Dec-23-09
142 posts
Dec-24-09, 01:28 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #0
 
Did he know he has herpes at the time you two were together? If he didn't, you might want to blame him, and it sure does feel satisfying (why weren't you safer, why didn't you get tested, etc), but you have to remember that he was as clueless as you were. If he did know, then yeah, total jerk, and I don't know what I'd do. Maybe remember that he has the same disease as you do and is suffering like you are? Again, if he knew, asshole to the extreme, though.

I still don't know if my ex or a really (REALLY) dumb one-nighter gave me the H, but once I figure out my own diagnosis, I'll be trying to find out, and I honestly don't know how I'll react. If you've got any advice on that, that'd be lovely.


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IsItOver
Member since Nov-21-08
21 posts
Dec-24-09, 09:09 PM (CST)
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3. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #2
 
Well I don't think that he knew, but the way he treated me after the fact makes him a total ass none the less.

I don't know if you'll ever know who gave it to you. One thing I said to the guy when I told him is that I don't need confirmation that he gave it to me, just that I was telling him what I needed to tell him to make my conscience clean. Nothing is going to make you feel better until you learn to accept yourself. It's taken just over a year, but that lesson has finally sunk in. I can't make this any better, and this doesn't make me any less attractive or desirable to a potential partner. It's just a part of who you are.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes!


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2375 posts
Dec-25-09, 08:31 AM (CST)
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5. "RE: When I see the guy that did this to me..."
In response to message #3
 
   LAST EDITED ON Dec-25-09 AT 08:35 AM (CST)
 
I am glad to see where your post #3 is such a turn around from your original post. You seem to be more at peace at having this virus and you also realize that this virus is a common one that is just a pest at times for the most of us.

This man that you suspect gave you H, may or may not have done so. He may have it and not know or does not have it at all or could have gotten it from you. He could also be the type of person that no matter what you say or how you say it, takes it as being accused of something and gets on the defensive. This type of person is not the type of person to be around so it is good that you are no longer with him. He also sounds like he is spiralling out of control and that he needs more help than just with HSV.

You are so right in that this does not make you any less attractive or less desirable to a potential partner. We are more than that just this virus.

Raven00144


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