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Subject: "Only 19."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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soccer_girl12
Member since Feb-5-11
8 posts
Feb-05-11, 11:20 AM (CST)
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"Only 19."
 
   Okay. I'm new here and I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing, but I just can't think of anywhere else to go. At the beginning of this week I was diagnosed with Herpes. I have been in a monogamous relationship for the past five years and that is of course making all of this harder to deal with. I have never had sex with anybody other than him so I know that's where it came from. We had been on a break for a few months prior to this but I never expected him to have sex with someone and then have unprotected sex with me... I just never thought he could do something like that. Anyways my real problem is that I'm having trouble coping with the finality of the situation. Obviously there is no way out now and sometimes it just feels like my life is over. I just started my fourth semester at University, where I study Business Management and Marketing... I love class and work and school and my fraternity... I'm really involved in a lot of things here, but now I just can't get up enough energy to care about any of it... I feel doomed. Will these feelings ever go away? Did it get easier for any of you to cope with the situation? Am I ever going to feel any better?


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2375 posts
Feb-05-11, 01:53 PM (CST)
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1. "RE: Only 19."
In response to message #0
 
   I am sorry that you are feeling so down about this right now. I will tell you that we have all been where you are now and can also tell you that it will get better. First, how were you diagnosed--by a blood test or by a swab of a sore and was it typed as in HSVI or HSVII? DO not go blaming this on your b/f cheating at this point since there are many variables at play here. It is possible to have this virus and never have an OB (outbreak), have this virus for a long time and then have an OB, or you can have an OB shortly after exposure to it. It is also possible to get genital HSVI from someone giving you oral sex that has a history of oral cold sores. Many people that have oral HSVI do not ever remember getting a cold sore as this is usually gotten as children and we tend not to remember too many things from our younger days. Oral HSVI is also more contagious in the absence of symptoms than either Gential HSVI or genital HSVII. If your b/f and you have the same virus then you cannot pass it back and forth to each other and thus no need to take precautions other than to avoid sex during an OB. It is possible that if your b/f has ever given you oral sex, that you did get it from him without him cheating at all.

The best thing that you can do is to arm yourself with information about this virus and to not buy into the stigma of having it. You can download the free handbook from this site and it is full of update and correct infromation.

You may also ask any questions that you want here.

Raven00144


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Lenoreadmin
Member since Oct-22-04
4277 posts
Feb-05-11, 02:49 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: Only 19."
In response to message #0
 
   Like Raven said, first you want to find out if you have HSV1 or HSV2 before you think that your boyfriend was with someone else. It's really common to get genital HSV1 from oral sex and actually more common in your age group than HSV2. Even if people don't remember ever getting a cold sore they could still have HSV1 orally and pass it on to a partner through oral sex. A person isn't contagious 24/7 so you could conceivably go years without passing it on. Have you talked with him about this yet?

Everyone goes through a period of freaking out once they find out that they have herpes. Most of us are able to put those feelings into perspective with a little time and see herpes for what it is, a really common virus that causes an occasional annoying skin irritation.

I've had HSV2 since I was 17, so that's been 33 years now and it's honestly never been anything more than an occasional annoyance, kind of like a headache or menstrual cramps. I don't want them either, but they keep coming back.

Be patient with yourself right now. Your body is dealing with a virus, so it's normal not to have a lot of energy. This will get better.


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soccer_girl12
Member since Feb-5-11
8 posts
Feb-05-11, 04:04 PM (CST)
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3. "RE: Only 19."
In response to message #0
 
   Thank you all very much. I really am trying not to freak out on him and it helps to know that it's so easily spread. I had the swab test and I'm going next week to get a blood test to find out which strain I have. He lives two hours away so we haven't gotten a chance to actually have a good talk about this yet. Hopefully he will be coming down today.

I do feel kind of silly for having such an insane initial reaction to all of this. When I called my mom to tell her I was so scared she was going to be disappointed... but I actually ended up finding out that she has had herpes for over 21 years, my dad gave it to her from a cold sore before I was born. Somehow having her understand and knowing that I can come to her with this anytime did make me feel a lot better. But even with that kind of support I'm having a hard time being interested in my life and I have so many responsibilities that I can't afford to feel that way. I have a full time job, I'm Vice President of Professional Activities within my Business Fraternity and I have an obligation to ... and that makes me feel kind of guilty because I do know that it could have been something way worse.

I don't know, I think it just must make me feel better to hear that other people have been here and that it get's better. Thank you all!


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2375 posts
Feb-06-11, 02:57 PM (CST)
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4. "RE: Only 19."
In response to message #3
 
   You may be able to contact the lab that did your swab test to see if they still have the sample as most labs keep samples for a little while. You can ask them to type the sample.

A blood test looks for antibodies and it takes most people 12-16 weeks post exposure the develop these antibodies.

If you take a blood test now and it comes back negative then this tells you that this virus is new and you have not had the time to develop these antibodies and you will need to retest in 12-16 weeks post exposure to get a result and to get a typed result. Many doctors think that all HSV in the genital region is type II but this is not the case as in your mother's case.

It is important to know your type as each type acts diffenently depending on its location--oral or genital. Once you know your type then you can educate yourself about it.
Raven00144


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soccer_girl12
Member since Feb-5-11
8 posts
Feb-07-11, 11:03 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: Only 19."
In response to message #4
 
   Thank you. I didn't know they could figure out the type from the swab, I'll call them first thing in the morning!


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