If he knew beforehand and didn't let you know about his status so that you could discus precautions, regardless of the nature of your relationship, that's pretty lousy on his part. You have every right to be mad at him.
Even if you were having a "classic" outbreak, I hope they took a culture and a type specific blood test so that you can sort out not only whether you have herpes, but the type. This will be useful information for you to have.
Assuming the diagnosis is correct:
1. Your life is not over. It may take a while for you to wrap your mind around what this means, but trust me this is a bump in the journey not the end as you know it.
2. Dating is challenging with or without herpes, but here are some tips:
- you don't have to tell every person you go out with that you have herpes, only people you are going to have sex with and only once sex is likely
- you will need to disclose that you have genital herpes (and which type -- i.e. type 1 versus 2), but not give them a blow-by-blow of your entire dating history (it's a discussion, not a confession and there is a difference
- it will never be a fun conversation, but it is a doable one and not every person is going to run for the hills
- if you are having the discussion with someone who truly cares about you they are likely have a more positive reaction to things than you are now. Finding out after the fact is a completely different ball of wax than being told up front.
Although I am not 20 something, I did catch this when I was single and initially had the same sorts of fears. I dated a few guys after contracting herpes. Some I told by the second date, some never (obviously no sex with those guys), and others later on. I never got rejected over herpes. The last time I had the discussion because it was a long distance relationship I didn't tell my now husband till nearly 3 months into things. We are still together nearly 10 years later with 2 kids to our credit I take daily suppression and to the best of our knowledge my husband has not caught herpes from me.
I suggest you read the "Herpes Handbook" available at www.westoverheights.com. It will answer most of the question you have about herpes as well as a few you haven't even thought to ask yet. We of course are here to help you however we can.
You've been treated callously by this guy and that alone is going to take a bit of time to sort out and rebound from. It may not feel like it at this point, but you may have dodged a bullet. If your rendez vous had evolved into something more (i.e. dating) just imagine how he might have treated you in general. At this point you know to leave him in your dust if he can't even be straight up about his herpes status.
I hope this helps.
Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)