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Subject: "just need someone to understand..."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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giggles_22
Member since Oct-1-13
3 posts
Oct-01-13, 12:23 PM (CST)
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"just need someone to understand..."
 
   LAST EDITED ON Oct-01-13 AT 12:26 PM (CST)
 
Hey guys, newbie here. Well let me tell you my story...
I was 17 when my first OB occurred. It was probably the most painful thing I've ever been through in my life. A virgin at the time with a boyfriend of 6 months, I had no clue how I could have contracted herpes. My boyfriend is my first ever sexual partner and he has had 1 before me. However, I learned that herpes can be transfered orally and we came to the conclusion thats how I got it, therefore hsv1.
My boyfriend and few family members are the only ones who know and have been amazing throughout my horrible experience. But it still doesn't make it feel any better. I often think why me? And get angered at the thought of keeping my virginity for so long and then the first time I even have sexual contact this happens. Just shows you how easy it is I suppose. Every time anyone makes a reference to herpes in films or tv programs I just feel so ashamed that what they mock, I have. Had two minor and to what I believed were OB's since then and obviously seeked medical assistance regarding prescriptions of aciclovir. But anytime I've been to my doctor, they all just seem so judgmental and condescending and my most recent consultation had me in absolute tears he made me feel so low. I just want to scream sometimes. My self confidence, although many people compliment me on my looks/personality, has taken a massive hit. I'm 18 now, but still haven't really accepted this, I just don't know what to do and find myself trying to pretend I don't have it. I just need some friends out there who understand this feeling? X


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
338 posts
Oct-02-13, 10:20 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: just need someone to understand..."
In response to message #0
 
   Sending you a hug. Herpes has not changed who you are so don't give it that power. Also sounds like you need a different doctor who is more understanding. A lot of people on this site, including me, have had herpes for over 30 years and it has not changed our lives at all. We married, worked, etc. You need time to come to terms with this emotionally. Also, how were you diagnosed--by a swab of the sore or blood test? Anyway be kind to yourself, get educated about herpes and stay strong. I know at 18 how difficult it is to feel like you do, but life goes by fast and some day you will be my age, 58, and look back and realize that herpes is just nothing but a minor inconvenience. Good luck and you are not alone.


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giggles_22
Member since Oct-1-13
3 posts
Oct-02-13, 03:09 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: just need someone to understand..."
In response to message #1
 
   Thanks for your reply, reading all of the people's stories on here makes me feel so much better. I had the idea that I was the only one that had it and felt so isolated in ny but I think now I'm starting to realise that I'm not alone and there is others out ghsre who understand how this feels. During my first outbreak, a nurse took a swab test and sent away for results, she tested me for both herpes and also bacterial infection. Got told to phone docs in 5 days so I did and told me I was negative, but then I just wanted to book an app with nurse to discuss it a little bit further as to what it was THEN found out, that the results id been given were my bacterial infection results and herpes results had to take a few weeks to return, big annoyance. Ontop of that, the nurse I had appointment with was so judgmental and had the audacity to talk about her own children and how they were virgins and bla bla bla and little did she know I was also a virgin but she was just too quick to assume. I just hate the automatic judgment that I must be dirty or sleep around because that's not the case at all and people don't realise how easy it can be!! What age were you when you were diagnosed and how do you try to prevent your outbreaks? It is difficult as you said but the support I have from my boyfriend and family keeps me strong and helps me to ignore the ignorance of the people like the doctor and nurse Ive been dealing with. Id really love to be able to talk to someone who just understand rather than judges, and who could just tell me how I could help myself. Relying on Google is good but having the medical support of someone who knows their stuff would be good too but after my experience with the doctor and nurse at my local health centre, I really do feel scared to approach anyone about it xx thanks again for your reply though xx


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
338 posts
Oct-03-13, 06:37 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: just need someone to understand..."
In response to message #2
 
   So sorry that the nurse was so judgmental. As a retired nurse, it upsets me that she did that as the most important aspect of nursing is to be the patient advocate. I probably acquired herpes when I was 20, but wasn't actually tested until 2008. My initial OB was horrendous, but I couldn't get to a doctor and it went away and I moved and did get to a gynecologist and asked to be tested for everything and it came back negative, but back then I'm not even sure they had tests for herpes (1975). I didn't have any subsequent OB's until years later and they went away in two days and I didn't realize what it was. When I became a nurse in 1993, I read in my nursing book about herpes and that's when I realized what it probably was. Anyway, by then I was married and my husband had cold sores all the time and I never pursued testing or treatment. After my husband died, I got tested and put on acyclovir when I started dating. It's never been a real problem for me, as I was upfront and honest with any potential sexual partner about my herpes. Just remember that there are a lot of ignorant people out there who don't understand or know much about herpes and that includes the medical profession. And there are a lot of wonderful, helpful, knowledgeable people on this site. Maybe you should post under the Support conference as that gets more traffic. I'm hoping some younger people chime in here, but sounds like you have been reading the previous messages. The best thing you can do is not accept the idea that herpes changes a person--you are not dirty. There are a lot of people who have herpes who just don't know--look how long I went not knowing. Anyway, you sound like you have support from your boyfriend and family. And no one else has to know unless you are going to have sex with them. You certainly didn't do anything wrong--to love and be loved is one of our basic needs. This site has a list of doctors that are more understanding and maybe you can find one where you live. I had to switch health care providers as the nurse practitioner I went to would not prescribe the proper dose of acyclovir. I found a wonderful NP mentioned on this site and it's worth the 40 mile trip. Good luck!


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giggles_22
Member since Oct-1-13
3 posts
Oct-03-13, 08:28 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: just need someone to understand..."
In response to message #3
 
   I'm actually currently in my first year of nursing at university and the positive thing I cool from that was that the nurse/doctor should me exactly what kind of Nurse I WON'T be. Thank you for your advice and ill certainly have another little browse around the site, thank you!


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