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Mumford91
Member since Oct-28-13
7 posts
Oct-28-13, 00:52 AM (CST)
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"Newbie"
 
   Hi,

So I am 22 years old and have just found out (last week) that I have genital hsv. The test is still pending as to whether it is hsv1 or hsv2, but I have a suspicion it is type 1 as my boyfriend gets cold sores now and then, and previous to him I was with one guy. The thing is I got pretty ill last year (common cold but also a tooth infection) and with my immune system so low I should have shown signs of hsv if I was already infected, right? I have never had a thriving immune system as I am anaemic and I also struggle with anxiety, which gives me a low appetite and poor sleep - all of which I try control. My doctor says my timeline is pointing to very recent infection - which has to be him.
Just looking for some reassurance I guess.

Anyway, I wanted to know if there is anyway I can tell my boyfriend this (that he gave me genital hsv1) without making it seem like I am accusing him. I love him so so dearly but he has always had very strong opinions about STI's and such... I think he will leave me. And I know that I should look as it like "well, I dodged a bullet" kind of thing...but I don't know how I will handle having hsv on top of him looking at me like I am dirty and then leaving. My heart is pretty heavy right now...I don't know what to do.


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Mumford91
Member since Oct-28-13
7 posts
Oct-30-13, 07:09 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: Newbie"
In response to message #0
 
   It is me again. Just thought I would update to say that the test came back and I tested positive for type 1. Which means my current boyfriend is the person who infected me.

So the question still stands, how do I tell him without making it seem like I am accusing him? I am not accusing him, because I was just as uneducated about the fact that oral hsv1 can cause genital hsv1, so I take just as much responsibility about this.

Another question, and I guess this is an ethical issue....do I even need to tell him? My doctor says that it is highly unlikely (almost not possible) for him to be reinfected with hsv1 from me, so he most likely will not get it genitally from me. Is this true? I know hsv1 genitally does not shed often and so now that I am cleared up and healed, can we return to normal or should we start taking more precautions.

Help would be GREATLY appreciated. Trying to stay positive about this all Thank you


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2466 posts
Oct-31-13, 02:18 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: Newbie"
In response to message #1
 
   Ok, you both have HSVI and this means you each have antibodies so yo cannot pass this back and forth even if his is oral and yours in genital.

You do need to let him know that you share the same virus and that his oral HSV is the most contagious in the absence of symptoms. He needs to know so that he can take precautions in the future with other partners. In fact his is more contagious in the oral area than yours is in the genital area.

Remain calm and be informative when letting him know.

Raven00144


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Mumford91
Member since Oct-28-13
7 posts
Oct-31-13, 03:56 PM (CST)
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3. "RE: Newbie"
In response to message #2
 
   Thank you for your reply

I know I need to tell him, it is incredibly daunting though. I think I will refer him to this site so that he can see the success stories in particular - those really gave me hope. Even though the risk of passing it to him is very very low, I still worry and I feel like I am contaminated. But that feeling will go away, I know.


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