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Subject: "1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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spartan
Member since May-4-09
98 posts
Jun-11-12, 05:35 PM (CST)
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"1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
 
   Marrying her was the best thing I ever did. Ladies, don't waste a second about this topic. If anyone rejects you because of your herpes, then he wasn't worth your time. Here's how it should go:

You disclose.
He rejects based on herpes.
You smile because you just dodged a bullet.

If someone won't love you because of herpes, what the hell's going to happen if you get cancer or get hit by a car and end up quadraplegic?!

As a man who has dated a woman and married a woman with herpes, and who felt terrible for her when she had to disclose, here's my advice. Don't hide under a blanket as you have something important to discuss. You have no reason to do this. Just be open and straight forward. "Before we go further and get physical, you should know that I contracted an STD from the past. If you're willing to stay with me, great. I think we have potential. If not, your loss." Look him straight in the eyes and call him on his character. His lack of character should have absolutely no emotional impact on you.


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. starrattadmin Jun-12-12 1
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. Lenoreadmin Jun-12-12 2
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. mb123 Jul-20-12 3
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. hopeful85 Jul-16-13 4
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. rumisays Jul-22-13 5
     RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. spartan Nov-24-13 6
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. dumbgirl Mar-14-14 7
     RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. deb54 Mar-15-14 8
     RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. spartan Jan-08-15 13
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. realcowboy Mar-24-14 9
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. Gayla May-09-14 10
     RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. spartan Jun-17-14 11
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. NeverGiveUp2014 Jul-20-14 12
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. deb2015 Jan-19-15 14
     RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. spartan May-31-15 16
         Thanks for the followup. Rajahadmin Jun-06-15 17
  RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2. herpesgirl Sep-22-16 20

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starrattadmin
Charter Member
2118 posts
Jun-12-12, 01:19 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
So glad it's going well for you.

I'm sure many of our newbies who read this will get a confidence boost about disclosing herpes.

Be well,
Lorraine

Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)


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Lenoreadmin
Member since Oct-22-04
4281 posts
Jun-12-12, 07:47 AM (CST)
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2. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   Thanks for taking the time to update us. I'm glad you're doing well.


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mb123
Member since Jul-26-09
23 posts
Jul-20-12, 07:27 PM (CST)
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3. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   EXCELLENT way to put it.......and so true!!!!!


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hopeful85
Member since Mar-18-11
12 posts
Jul-16-13, 01:07 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   thank you for posting!

this gives me hope

Hopeful


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rumisays
Member since Jul-22-13
4 posts
Jul-22-13, 12:51 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   Thank you. lots of gratitude for this post. Inspiring! And mazel tov on your marriage!!


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spartan
Member since May-4-09
98 posts
Nov-24-13, 11:12 PM (CST)
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6. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #5
 
   3 years and going strong. Very happily married.

Herpes shmerpes.


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dumbgirl
Member since Mar-14-14
1 posts
Mar-14-14, 04:49 PM (CST)
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7. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   I am glad that you were given the choice. I just found out that my husband of 9 months has herpes. We dated for 3 1/2 years before we got married, and he failed to disclose this. It wouldn't have changed anything, but it would have been nice to know since it involved my health. I found out when I found his suppression medication. I feel violated, not to mention the trust issue.


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
477 posts
Mar-15-14, 03:34 PM (CST)
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8. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #7
 
   Sorry you found out in the way that you did. I understand how you feel--have you talked to him about it?? At least he was taking the suppression medication and he probably thought that was enough to protect you. A lot of people can't seem to get the nerve to have the conversation and are afraid they will lose someone they really care about if they disclose their status. Good luck in your marriage.


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spartan
Member since May-4-09
98 posts
Jan-08-15, 07:25 AM (CST)
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13. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #7
 
   Sorry about your experience dumbgirl. Trust is the biggest thing in a marriage. Ouch. What happened after you found out?


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realcowboy
Member since Dec-6-05
241 posts
Mar-24-14, 08:09 PM (CST)
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9. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   Great attitude, thanks for sharing!


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Gayla
Charter Member
141 posts
May-09-14, 12:14 PM (CST)
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10. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
Amazing attitude!

Thanks for sharing your story and best of luck to you.


My Herpes Story


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spartan
Member since May-4-09
98 posts
Jun-17-14, 08:26 PM (CST)
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11. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #10
 
   It'll be 4 years in October. I have no symptoms. Excellent marriage.


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NeverGiveUp2014
Member since Jul-20-14
1 posts
Jul-20-14, 09:33 PM (CST)
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12. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-29-15 AT 10:32 PM (CST) by Rajah (admin)
 
Unbelieveable!
Thanks for your success story in dating someone with herpes, which can get people diagnosed as herpes confidence back and start dating again. Hope you are doing well!

link removed


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deb2015
Member since Jan-19-15
2 posts
Jan-19-15, 08:51 PM (CST)
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14. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Jan-29-15 AT 10:33 PM (CST) by Rajah (admin)
 
You give me hope and get a confidence boost about disclosing herpes. But I got lots of rejection. I start to look for another person who knows he has herpes. I hit positivesingles bannner on the top of this site.


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spartan
Member since May-4-09
98 posts
May-31-15, 10:01 PM (CST)
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16. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #14
 
   It'll be 5 years this October. We're going to India to renew our vows.

Marrying her was the best thing I ever did. We've since bought a house, remodrled it, adopted three dogs and two chickes and are loving life. I thank my lucky stars I found her.


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15719 posts
Jun-06-15, 08:48 PM (CST)
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17. "Thanks for the followup."
In response to message #16
 
Definitely a success story!

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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herpesgirl
Member since Sep-22-16
1 posts
Sep-22-16, 09:14 PM (CST)
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20. "RE: 1.5 years into my marriage with a woman who has herpes 2."
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Oct-03-16 AT 07:52 PM (CST) by Rajah (admin)
 
Not all the people with herpes, especially for those just diagnosed, are as brave as you. Maybe, most of them are not confident enough. That is why there are so many genital herpes dating sites. Some of them even choose to hide the secret in heart and worry every day. What a bad decision!


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