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Subject: "Why Tell?"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Lost
Member since Aug-3-12
5 posts
Aug-03-12, 05:29 PM (CST)
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"Why Tell?"
 
   Actually I know it's the responsible thing to do when you have HSV2, but I don't know anyone that even tells someone before kissing them that they have HSV1. The virus can still be transferred without a visible outbreak, just like with HSV2. And it can infect the genitals, with oral sex. So it's odd to me that HSV2 has such a huge stigma associated with it, while HSV1 doesn't when they are just about the same virus.

So if people aren't concerned about telling a potential kissing partner they have HSV1, then why tell if they have HSV2?


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  RE: Why Tell? kevinkeller Aug-03-12 1
  RE: Why Tell? Herped Aug-29-12 2
     RE: Why Tell? Koolmom2008 Sep-03-12 3
     RE: Why Tell? Raven00144 Dec-30-13 5
     Not to be harsh, but you should know that .... Rajahadmin Jan-01-14 6
  RE: Why Tell? fallenangel24 Oct-17-14 7
     You absolutely should have had the information... Rajahadmin Oct-17-14 8

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kevinkeller
Member since Aug-3-12
3 posts
Aug-03-12, 07:25 PM (CST)
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1. "RE: Why Tell?"
In response to message #0
 
   I don't know about you, but I would feel like shit if I kissed a girl, or better, and it turned out I transmitted the virus without even giving her the opportunity to back out of the whole thing.

As you can tell, that is how I got involved with all this. She knew and never had the decency to tell me. Now, regardless of how compatible we are/were, there was no chance this was going anywhere, because I am PISSED!

Also, I happen to have just a touch more respect for human health that I do not want to have any part of this. I will risk a rejection or two, because the alternative just makes me sick.


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Herped
Member since Aug-23-12
8 posts
Aug-29-12, 08:35 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: Why Tell?"
In response to message #0
 
   I don't really agree that they are all that similar.


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Koolmom2008
Member since Apr-11-12
64 posts
Sep-03-12, 08:58 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: Why Tell?"
In response to message #2
 
   LAST EDITED ON Sep-03-12 AT 08:58 AM (CDST)
 
A lot of people don't view oral herpes the same as genital but they are just in different positions. I got the virus because my ex and I both didn't know he could pass it on with him giving me oral.


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2519 posts
Dec-30-13, 08:59 AM (CST)
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5. "RE: Why Tell?"
In response to message #4
 
   Why tell? Because it is the responsible thing to do.

Steve Alley--Two wrongs do not make a right. The very nature of this virus makes it so easy to pass on to someone without you knowing that you have it. It is possible the person that passed it on to you did not even know they had the virus at the time and if they did, then shame on them for not telling. There was a time when it was thought that you were safe from transmitting in the absence of symptoms but due to the Valtrex study we now know otherwise. Many people and doctors still think the old way but as more is now known about this virus, it is up to US--those of us with HSV to educate others.

Sure being a male, the transmission stat is about 8% a year in the absence of symptoms and 4% if you use meds or condoms and even less that you use meds and condoms. The risk is low but a risk still the same. Do you want to be known as the guy passing around HSV? Suppose you have sex with someone that you end up caring about and you tell them or they found out after sex? This brings up all sorts of trust issues and once trust is lost, it is almost impossible to gain back.

Be the better person and let potential partners have a choice that you did not have.

Raven00144


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15563 posts
Jan-01-14, 07:38 PM (CST)
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6. "Not to be harsh, but you should know that ...."
In response to message #4
 
many people who have that thought process are seen as having Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), also called dissocial personality disorder.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_personality_disorder#ICD-10

Just sayin'.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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fallenangel24
Member since Oct-17-14
2 posts
Oct-17-14, 09:56 AM (CST)
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7. "RE: Why Tell?"
In response to message #0
 
   I wasn't told and the guy knew. I would have preferred to have the option of making informed decisions. It's not that I would erase things but I would have been more cautious.


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15563 posts
Oct-17-14, 10:20 PM (CST)
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8. "You absolutely should have had the information..."
In response to message #7
 
Not telling is immoral, unethical and illegal in some jurisdictions. I told the woman I'm married to for 15 years well before we engaged in any risky behaviors and she still married me.

I'd much rather tell and risk rejection that not tell and live with guilt.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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