Look, I know that we always should tell people, and I'm probably going to get a lot of flack for this, but... I just want to tell you my story so you'll know that you're not alone, and that many of us have so much shame that we have a hard time disclosing. I'm not saying it's a great move, but I am saying it doesn't make you a horrible person-- just a person who is afraid and has some things to come to terms with.
I had told everyone I was with I had H, and then I started seeing this guy who I didn't tell-- I'm not sure why. Eventually, I felt so guilty, I told him some lie about how I'd just been diagnosed. He didn't take it well-- he didn't break up with me, but I wish he had. He treated me like I was poisoned, washing his hands immediately after touching me, etc... For many reasons, that relationship didn't work out, but I stopped telling anyone after that. Luckily, I never gave it to anyone, but I'm really not proud of what I did, and it was extremely stressful. I always thought I was about to get an OB, I lived in terror of someone callng me and telling me they had it.
Anyway, when I told my current boyfriend, who is the love of my life, he was just like, "okay." I told him I hadn't had an outbreak in like 4 years, but asked him what he would do if I did, and he said, "well, I guess I'll just get herpes too, eventually."
My point is not to justify my actions, but to tell you I feel for what you're going through. There is so much shame surrounding herpes. But I think this shame comes from puritanical thinking that's really off base. In the long run, herpes is a skin disease and the people who are really worth your time will not place so much stigma around it. Anyone who is sexually active is at risk for H.