I have not been in your exact shoes, but I spent enough time dating before I met my husband to realize that many people seem to fall short of "mature adult" behavior that seems pretty obvious to the rest of us.
Highlights from my dating disasters include:
- getting dumped by email by a guy who was a millionaire (I'm just saying he could have afforded to buy me a coffee when he was getting ready to suggest we switch to "seeing other people" but still having sex every now and again. But maybe he was afraid I'd throw the coffee at him).
- getting stood up because one guy got distracted looking at guitars (He was NOT a professional musician and he was over the age of 30).
- Having to actually track down the guy I got herpes from so that he knew I had caught it because he was dodging my calls for other reasons (the relationship was headed for the skids and we both knew that). Trust me, feeling fluish and having to show up at somebody's door unannounced is not my idea of a fun time.
- Dumping an educator who (in his 40s) figured he should spend his life stoned and playing video games (seriously, this guy teaches junior high)
The lesson I learned is that many people just do not get how to "behave maturely" and herpes has little to do with it. However, there are many more who can manage it and do.
It's okay to feel slighted by his behavior. It may be awkward to pick up a phone (or better yet meet someone in person) and be upfront about not being comfortable with continuing to see that person for whatever reason. However, it is the DECENT thing to do and given how upfront you were, minimally you deserve the same in return. Leaving you hanging is not cool.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this, but you deserve somebody who will reward your candor with the same in exchange. Have a bit of a pity over this, but then pull up your socks and move on. His behavior indicates there are bigger issues here than just him being nervous about herpes.
Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)