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Subject: "I told . He never called back."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Member since Dec-27-12
1 posts
Dec-27-12, 11:47 PM (CST)
Click to EMail happegirl Click to send private message to happegirl Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
"I told . He never called back."
   I guess I just need to put this in writing. I told a potential partner about 2 weeks ago. We had been dating for about 2 months and had been on 7-8 dates. Things were getting physical but we had not had sex. He was coming over one night so I decided to tell him one night, kind of on a whim. I was so nervous that I broke out in hives. That has never ever happened to me. He was very understanding and nice. I told him to take time and think about it. He did not get back to me for 4-5 day and that was after I text him a long text asking for him to just be honest with me. After the text he called me. We had a great talk and I was able to give him the "facts" and also to let him know that I supported whatever decision he made. He was still kind of shocked and unsure. I told him to take more time. My one request was that he did not leave me in the dark and that he let me know his thoughts. He told me he would call the next day. He never did. That was almost 2 weeks ago or so. I am able to accept whatever decision he made and move forward. What gets me and really hurts is that he did not even have the courtesy or respect to call me back with his decision. In my opinion, what I had to say was way more difficult than what he had to say (especially after I was adamant that I would understand any decision that he made). I am absolutely shocked that a mature adult could not call me back and give me the respect of an honest answer. Anyone else have a similar situation? What was the outcome?

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2086 posts
Dec-29-12, 02:31 AM (CST)
Click to EMail starratt Click to send private message to starratt Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
1. "RE: I told . He never called back."
In response to message #0
I have not been in your exact shoes, but I spent enough time dating before I met my husband to realize that many people seem to fall short of "mature adult" behavior that seems pretty obvious to the rest of us.

Highlights from my dating disasters include:
- getting dumped by email by a guy who was a millionaire (I'm just saying he could have afforded to buy me a coffee when he was getting ready to suggest we switch to "seeing other people" but still having sex every now and again. But maybe he was afraid I'd throw the coffee at him).

- getting stood up because one guy got distracted looking at guitars (He was NOT a professional musician and he was over the age of 30).

- Having to actually track down the guy I got herpes from so that he knew I had caught it because he was dodging my calls for other reasons (the relationship was headed for the skids and we both knew that). Trust me, feeling fluish and having to show up at somebody's door unannounced is not my idea of a fun time.

- Dumping an educator who (in his 40s) figured he should spend his life stoned and playing video games (seriously, this guy teaches junior high)

The lesson I learned is that many people just do not get how to "behave maturely" and herpes has little to do with it. However, there are many more who can manage it and do.

It's okay to feel slighted by his behavior. It may be awkward to pick up a phone (or better yet meet someone in person) and be upfront about not being comfortable with continuing to see that person for whatever reason. However, it is the DECENT thing to do and given how upfront you were, minimally you deserve the same in return. Leaving you hanging is not cool.

I'm sorry you've had to go through this, but you deserve somebody who will reward your candor with the same in exchange. Have a bit of a pity over this, but then pull up your socks and move on. His behavior indicates there are bigger issues here than just him being nervous about herpes.

Be well,

Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)

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Member since May-4-09
89 posts
Nov-30-13, 11:09 PM (CST)
Click to EMail spartan Click to send private message to spartan Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: I told . He never called back."
In response to message #1
   Screw him.

Move on and find a real man.

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