Sorry for the delay in my response. I was pre-occupied lately.
Dating, in a nutshell is anxiety provoking with or without herpes.
In middle age I think the talk actually goes better for many of us than when we are in our early 20s dealing with a lower level of maturity.
I think many people ASSUME a lot about how they would react to being told somebody they are dating has herpes. A lot of it is based on misinformation and dumb assumptions.
I think when you sit down with someone with whom you are developing a mutual respect and a genuine attraction the reaction is more accepting. It helps to have the talk in as calm and direct a manner as you can muster and be armed with accurate information (i.e. transmission rates, precautions, etc.). We generally recommend people incorporate other important issues - i.e. testing for other STIs and birth control. One of the best one-liner's I've heard a lady use in "the talk" was to the effect of "Not making sure you've been properly tested for herpes is how nice girls like me wind up with it". (Not essential, but if I ever need to venture out there again I intend to borrow it).
Heading out into the dating world after an absence from it is intimidating. It feels like all the rules have changed, but the truth is you just have to be yourself and take things at whatever pace you feel comfortable with. Herpes is not the biggest to finding love, but it's easy to get to overly focused on it.
I wish you luck. Keep breathing in and out and repeat as necessary.
Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)