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Subject: "What next?!"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Shortystar52
Member since Feb-5-14
1 posts
Feb-05-14, 00:36 AM (CST)
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"What next?!"
 
   So I met this guy on a dating site. We went out a few times, but after the 3rd date I new I was falling hard for him. I didn't say anything for fear of scaring him off. He brought up the suggestion of taking down our profiles because he didn't want to meet anyone else. We went on a few more dates, and had our first over night experience. I stuck to my guns and did not have sex with him. We were going on a day trip the next day, which was phenomenal. It was the first date with obvious PDA, reaching for my hand, putting his hand on the small of my back, stopping to kiss me. That night after he dropped me off at home, I felt it was time to tell him. I was too scared to do it face to face, and mistakenly told him via text. He said he needed time to think about it and didn't know much about it, which I told him was understandable, but that I would happily answer his questions. The next day he text me saying he didn't think it was something that he could live with. I've been physically ill all week, and have had to really fight the urge to contact him. I was holding out hope that maybe he would miss me and reconsider, or do a little more research and realize it isn't that big of a deal. At this point I really want to contact him. I feel like I have to put up a little bit of a fight before I can just let it go, but I also don't want to be that crazy chick! I've been given mixed advice and I guess I'm looking for input from people who know what this feels like. Should I let it go, because if he's "the one" he'll love me just the way I am? Or do I fight for the guy I fell in love with? Please give me some advice, or just your personal opinion!!!


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Maggieddd1
Member since Feb-9-13
19 posts
Feb-05-14, 01:23 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: What next?!"
In response to message #0
 
   I feel for you. I'm there this week as well ( sick to stomach, etc).I can only say from personal experience with my one telling it was a dealbreaker. He spent three years vacillating between me and his girlfriend but once he broke up with her & it became time to tell him that ended it for us. He moved on to numerous other women & gave up on me. However he continues to be with me and we do everything but actual intercourse. We spent The holidays together, he says he loves me & have a vacation planned. 10 dys ago it'd been 1 yr since "my telling" I thought I could raise the subject again giving him more information which might allow us to move forward (our first conversation was very short as he reacted so negatively and strongly about it I just drop the subject-I tried to raise the issue several months later he brushed me off say he didn't know what I was talking about). This time I got to say more he claims he doesn't remember original conversation but he was clearly uncomfortable with it and has brushed me off ever since. Later that night he restated we were just friends and spent the past weekend with another girl. I'm kind of thinking their 1st reaction may be the one they will always have.


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
408 posts
Feb-05-14, 11:49 AM (CST)
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2. "RE: What next?!"
In response to message #1
 
   When I was dating I never was rejected because I have herpes. I always was upfront and told someone on the second date--no sense investing your time and emotions in someone who can't handle a simple diagnosis such as herpes. The right person for you will come along and the herpes won't matter one bit. I'm in a wonderful relationship and we've been living together for over three years and he doesn't care about the herpes. I take acyclovir on the suppressive dose and this is the best relationship of my life. Don't lose your dignity by pursuing someone who has rejected you. Of course, I have always told someone face to face and armed with the facts on herpes. I always referred them to the westoverheights .com site so they could educate themselves about herpes. There is so much scary info about herpes online and lack of general education about herpes that I think a lot of people think it's much worse than it truly is. For most of us with herpes, it is just a skin condition, although the initial outbreak for a lot of people is horrendous, but over time appears that the symptoms diminish. I don't know what you told your guy, but it could have been how you presented it--like you are ashamed. Herpes doesn't change who we are. It is just a virus, but the social stigma seems to be too prevalent in the general population. I did meet my BF online on a dating site too. Good luck in the future.


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