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Subject: "Hating myself that I told him AFTER sex"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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nightflower
Member since Sep-16-14
2 posts
Sep-16-14, 11:20 AM (CST)
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"Hating myself that I told him AFTER sex"
 
   I'm a 24 yo with genital hsv-1 getting to know this amazing man. Felt the greatest connection of my life so far. One night we stayed up for six hours on the phone.

I decided to have sex with him and made the biggest mistake of my life by not wearing protection. I don't know what I was thinking! It was so selfish. I told him a couple days later about my virus and he exploded. Told me it was the most selfish and worst thing any human could do to him. He told me only hateful people sleep with others and don't tell them. I think he might be right. Maybe I don't truly know myself. Maybe I am an awful, selfish person for not thinking of his feelings, his health, his life.

I'm having a really hard time with myself right now. I hate myself for hurting him and not having the courage to tell him before sex.


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2518 posts
Sep-16-14, 03:45 PM (CST)
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1. "RE: Hating myself that I told him AFTER sex"
In response to message #0
 
   Please do not beat yourself up so badly. I have been right where you are only I have GHSVII. The good news about having GHSVI is that is does not like the genital area as much as the oral area so transmission in the absence of symptoms is thought to be less. The bad news is that once trust is lost it is very hard to gain back.

Next time you feel a connection remember to have a discussion with your potential partner and not a telling/confession. Take the time to learn all you can about your virus and this will help when having this discussion. Everyone that engages in sex ought to have discussions prior to sex including any past testing, where you both want the relationship to go, etc.

Remember without the proper prior testing, he could also have this virus as a large number of people will test positive for HSVI. If he does, then you both have the same virus and cannot catch it from each other. There are inherent risks with sex and he did not initiate any sort of discussion with you either prior to sex. Try not to let him out all the blame on you--he was there with you.

Raven00144


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nightflower
Member since Sep-16-14
2 posts
Sep-16-14, 04:53 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: Hating myself that I told him AFTER sex"
In response to message #1
 
   Thanks so much for your reply. I learned a very important lesson at the cost of someone very special to me.


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