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boxerma1
Member since Nov-14-14
9 posts
Nov-14-14, 07:30 AM (CST)
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"He dumped me ......."
 
   Ive been divorced for 2 years. Dated a little, then met a great guy. I had an std test at my new gynos request and I thought sure no problem. I was devastated when she told me I had hsv 2. I have never had any ob!!! I immediately told my boyfriend to go get tested. He was shocked, but not upset. He made the appt to get tested, but we usually used condoms so he wasnt too worried. I guess after I told him ( I was totally sobbing) he got online and "researched" it. He said that the pics made him sick. He went on to say that I was dealt a bad hand and that "someone" would still love me someday and accept this, hes still my friend. etc....."friend"????? are you serious, he has after me for over a year, we finally get together and he bails. im so hurt confused who is going to date me?? Where are all these success stories coming from?? Im so angry upset lonely confused........


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
442 posts
Nov-19-14, 10:05 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: He dumped me ......."
In response to message #0
 
   So sorry for what you are going through. You might get more feedback/response by posting under support. I don't know where your bf went online, but you need to refer him to this site. How did his test come out?? Herpes is not that big of a deal, but you do need time to adjust and get used to it. Lots of people will date you. You need to keep reading the postings on this site. I just wonder how he would have responded to you if you had a serious illness. Anyway, you are not alone and the people on this site are wonderful, intelligent, and a great support.


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boxerma1
Member since Nov-14-14
9 posts
Nov-20-14, 07:01 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: He dumped me ......."
In response to message #1
 
   Thanks for the kind words. I think he may think I cheated. I didn't. I believe my ex husband passed this along to me. He cheated on me several times. To lose a relationship and get this news is awful. I must admit, before I knew I had it I had the same attitude as others. Now I see how wrong that was. Life goes on and I will do my best to not let this stop my life. I really don't see any dating in the future though for me now.


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deb54
Member since Jun-21-10
442 posts
Nov-24-14, 10:18 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: He dumped me ......."
In response to message #2
 
   Hey I'm so glad you posted under Support! Grace and Rajah are truly intelligent, terrific people and even tho we've never met I consider them to be friends. Your attitude sounds better now. And none of us asked for herpes and we weren't given a choice, so now we are honest and upfront about our little virus. So glad your friends are there for you. Dating will be okay for you when you are ready. The first time you disclose your status to a potential sexual partner is hard, but if you read through the old posts or even ask for help when the time comes, people here will respond. I met my bf online on plenty of fish and I told him on the second date. I only had one guy who was concerned about my herpes status, but we still ended up being friends. I take acyclovir to protect my partner and he's never really been concerned. I have both HSV1 and HSV2--lucky me!! He found out he has HSV1 when I made him get tested before we were sexual with each other. Hey, I'm more worried about HIV and everyone should disclose their status before things get headed toward sexual activity. Of course, I'm now 60, so our relationship is about a heck of a lot more than sex. We have been living together four years now. Anyway, herpes is very common. Deb


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spartan
Member since May-4-09
96 posts
Jan-08-15, 07:31 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: He dumped me ......."
In response to message #3
 
   You'll be fine. Who doesn't have herpes these days? Not a big deal. The real lesson from this site: invest in suppressant drugs!


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deb2015
Member since Jan-19-15
1 posts
Jan-19-15, 08:28 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: He dumped me ......."
In response to message #0
 
   Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you're seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out you have genital herpes. If you get the "I just want to be friends" talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What's more, anyone who disdains or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your condition. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."

Depending on your dating style, you might look for another person who knows he or she has herpes, if only to avoid having to discuss it. If you already use dating services or personal ads, you can also use any of those specifically for people with genital herpes. A search on the Internet for "top herpes dating site" will turn up several.


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