this is probably going to be the most strangest thing posted here but try to stay with me. first, i just want to say, i don't mean to offend or insult anyone who has hsv at all, and i don't mean to anger anyone with this post, i'm just being completely honest because i have kept this to myself for too long.
im a handsome gay male in my early 20s and i'm looking for another gay man, preferably someone older, who gets coldsores often caused by HSV-1 (not hsv2). I have a sexual fantasy of a man preforming oral sex on me while he has a coldsore outbreak and infecting me with genital hsv1. and causing me to feel a burn and sting. I know that sounds very messed up but i'm just being honest and telling the truth. in my mind i find that thought very erotic. but it's just a fantasy.
i had this sexual fantasy for years and i remember exactly how i developed it to. back when i was 12 years old, i was very curious about sex and i meet up with this older guy in a chatroom. we ended up meeting in person and he preformed oral sex on me. later on, i got worried that i might have contracted an std so i went online looking for advice, and everyone kept telling me that there's a chance i've caught genital herpes because i didn't wear a condom and if the guy gotten coldsores he might have spread it to me and everyone online kept scaring me into thinking that. i was so stressed out and scared that eventually i became sexually aroused by the idea of that. i know that sounds sick but it's absolutely true.
but as i said earlier, it's just a fantasy, not sure if i'd ever want to go through with that in real life, atleast not yet. but basically, here's exactly what im looking for: a man who gets coldsores a lot who i can discuss this fantasy with often and who'd take close up pics of his lips and his coldsores and send them to me and discuss more about this fantasy with me. as long as he enjoys it too though.
does anyone know where i can find a man willing to do that?
i've been looking all over the internet for this for years. i however did manage to find one man from Ireland who got coldsores very often. we'd talk online about my fantasy and he thought it was interesting and he would send me pictures of his coldsores. but i haven't heard from him in a long time.
i also managed to find a bunch of gay guys looking to get 'pozzed' or infected with the hiv virus, but i'm not into that at all! i don't want hsv2 either, or hsv1 on my lips at all either. im only into getting hsv1 on my penis, but it's just a fantasy. i just want to discuss it with a guy who wants to talk about it a lot.
a lot of people get angry at me when i post about this, but i have kept this to myself way too often and i fantasize about this a lot. i know it's really twisted but just try to bare with me. it's just a fantasy. does anyone know where i can find this? i already tried a website called pozsingles but i didnt have enough money for a full memebership there. any other ideas though?