There is no one incident that started my pain - it started right after I contracted herpes my pelvic area was just one big area of pain. And you can find more of my story and other peoples stories in the posts and anchored posts at the top of the forums. Also check out the library - read - read -read - educate yourself - and then from your research and your empirical knowledge you can deduce your own opinion and belief about this virus.
This is no one event that causes the virus to act up as you describe. From your post I assume you already had HSV2 by the time you received oral sex and finger stimulation. The human mind is fascinating and thank god that our desire to figure things out has propelled us forward as a species. This same thought process creates our desire to really want to understand and find a "reason" for things that happen.
The one thing you can count on with herpes is there is no formula and it can be unpredictable and unexplainable. Often we try to tie in an incident with symptoms related to herpes. I switched soap this last cycle and thought maybe that's it - maybe now I'll get a break. Well I did for 4 days but it had nothing to do with the soap (it was cycle time). There are some knowns that aggravate H, stress, sex, discontinuing meds.
H, for me, ebbs and flows the symptoms come and go - yesterday it sucked all day - today was better. And yes when I start to decrease my med it feels like the virus starts to replicate. That nerve pain becomes more frequent and more intense. People can go for years feeling great with no H symptoms and then start to have outbreaks. In this respect it is unpredictable.
As far as how H behaves in the body that is more technical and I'm not a good techie. So do read the anchored posts because there you will find the answer. I'm glad the meds work for you for the most part. And for me I should feel lucky as well because when I discontinued then for 2 weeks I had severe labia twitching on both sides and my entire pelvic area ached. I was was miserable and now I get the come labia ache but that is much better.
Do check out med help. I think it's under the gynocological forum - they have a post on itchy labia and they send me updates whenever there is a new post. Don't stop looking for "your" answers. Be open minded to other possibilities as to what may be causing your pain.
For me - it's herpes. Until someone other than the UC Irvine expert, the med help expert, my pa, my gyno, my pain management specialist, the numerous infectious disease specialists, and my neurologist can give me an answer - based on my experience and empirical knowledge - it's herpes related.
Be well and send me an e-mail if I can help further.
"The two most powerful warriors are
patience and time". Leo Tolstoy