PositiveSingles.com - the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site! Herpes Survival Kit - a specially designed pack containing everything you need to combat herpes and cold sore outbreaks (at a minimum cost to your wallet).

only search herpeshomepage.com

"The Good News about the Bad News - 
Herpes: Everything You Need to Know
"  
Terri Warren's new book - which we do endorse.

First time visitor? Please Learn about Registering and read our policy page.
{Home}{Awareness}{Research}{Treatment}{HHP FAQ}{Bookstore}{Bio/Info Page}

The Original Herpes Home Page Discussion Forums

Subject: "Depression and herpes - it's a common theme here - let's talk about it"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
Printer-friendly copy     Email this topic to a friend    
Conferences The Poll Forum Topic #13
Reading Topic #13

POLL: Depression and herpes - it's a common theme here - let's talk about it
Posted by grace on May-02-08, 10:30 AM CST
Result after a total of 70 votes

Sure I wasn't thrilled to hear I have herpes but I've never been clinically depressed over it 16 votes, 22% Vote for this choice
I was a little down for a few weeks after my diagnosis but nothing more - it got better as I educated myself about my herpes 14 votes, 20% Vote for this choice
I developed clinical depression soon after my diagnosis and sought out medical help for it and got treatment 5 votes, 7% Vote for this choice
I developed clinical depression soon after my diagnosis but didn't seek out medical help and got better over time 6 votes, 8% Vote for this choice
I am newly diagnosed and still working thru my feelings about it all 8 votes, 11% Vote for this choice
I had a history of depression before my diagnosis and it certainly didn't make things any better to hear I have herpes 21 votes, 30% Vote for this choice
Edit this poll | Post message to this poll

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
Depression and herpes - it's a common theme here - let's talk about it [View All] graceadmin May-02-08 TOP
  herpes and depression graceadmin May-02-08 1
     RE: herpes and depression jennyfromla May-02-08 2
     RE: herpes and depression Candace41 May-02-08 3
     RE: herpes and depression klfr May-02-08 14
     RE: herpes and depression luigilula May-20-08 24
     RE: herpes and depression reallyworried Oct-26-08 28
     RE: herpes and depression 1 sad girl Nov-17-08 29
  I'm not inclined to vote in this one... Rajahadmin May-02-08 4
  yellow zinnia May-02-08 5
     RE: yellow casey1 May-02-08 6
         RE: yellow C16679admin May-02-08 7
         RE: red muffinadmin May-02-08 9
             RE: red livelaughlove May-02-08 13
                 RE: red graceadmin May-02-08 15
  depression poll lab47 May-02-08 8
     RE: depression poll gran54 May-02-08 10
         RE: depression poll Angelika May-02-08 11
             RE: depression poll livelaughlove May-02-08 12
                 RE: depression poll Stix May-03-08 16
                     RE: depression poll Angelika May-03-08 17
                         RE: depression poll Stix May-03-08 18
                             RE: depression poll Angelika May-03-08 19
                             RE: depression poll iUsed2BeMatt May-03-08 20
                                 RE: depression poll jennyfromla May-04-08 23
  voted for the second one happened2me May-03-08 21
  depression Lenoreadmin May-03-08 22
  none fit gypsystar Oct-12-08 25
     Why not discuss it ?? Rajahadmin Oct-12-08 26
         RE: Why not discuss it ?? Scooter Oct-25-08 27

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic
graceadmin
Charter Member
13472 posts
May-02-08, 10:36 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to grace Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
1. "herpes and depression"
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON Apr-30-13 AT 02:12 PM (CST) by Rajah (admin)
 
By clinical depression I mean real depression - not just feeling a little down. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml has a full list of the symptoms of depression if you aren't sure what I am talking about.

Studies show that if you were depressed before you had herpes - it won't make things even better or if you have a history of depression it will probably make it start up again. That's why I gave the one option in the poll that I did.

As always - feel free to comment about your own experiences

grace

Edited to update rotted link.

The first step in stopping the perceived stigma about genital herpes - is to stop believing in it yourself


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
jennyfromla
Member since May-20-07
703 posts
May-02-08, 11:32 AM (CST)
Click to EMail jennyfromla Click to send private message to jennyfromla Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I voted for the second one. I was pretty freaked out during my primary ob. But about a week after my diagnosis, and all the help I received here, I pulled out of it. I still bothers me every now and then, but I don't think about it nearly as often as I did that first few months.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Candace41
Charter Member
May-02-08, 11:54 AM (CST)
Click to EMail Candace41 Click to send private message to Candace41 Click to add this user to your buddy list  
3. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I have been very depressed since finding out in 02/08, it probably wouldnt have been so bad if I didnt have to deal with so many uneducated Doctors. It is a scary thing that I know more about this then they do.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
klfr
Member since Dec-3-04
277 posts
May-02-08, 09:01 PM (CST)
Click to EMail klfr Click to send private message to klfr Click to add this user to your buddy list  
14. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I voted dark blue.

At the same time I was dealing with my diagnosis, I was dealing with an extremely nasty divorce and trying to find a new lawyer while fighting for child support so I could pay my mortgage. Both hit me like a ton of bricks at the same time. I cried every day for a month. New Years Eve was the worst. I got home from work at noon and sat in my room and couldn't stop crying. I couldn't breathe from crying so hard. I managed to get myself to the New Years party I was going to, and ended up locked in a bathroom at midnight, crying even more.

And then it just got better. I decided on Jan 1 that I couldn't change what had happened to me, but I could change how I chose to deal with it. I decided that knowledge was power and I made myself aware. It just got better and I haven't truly let it get me down since. This board made the difference for me.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
luigilula
Charter Member
May-20-08, 08:26 PM (CST)
Click to EMail luigilula Click to send private message to luigilula Click to add this user to your buddy list  
24. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I've dealt with CD for a long time. Getting H. really hasn't changed it.

Today I've been on the Pity Pot. Feeling unwanted and unloved,etc...
still waiting for this first OB to go away....alone....so on and so on.

I'm not on depression meds anymore. I just take Xanax for my anxiety and most days I take Vyvance for ADD...a new thing for me. I've been hospitalized for the depression several times over the years. But usually I can deal with it effectively on my own.

Most of my friends/coworkers that I am close to, pretty much said ....if it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck. Only to me could such a thing happen...no guy for 7 years and then get H. from my first b/f who then takes a hiatus from the relationship to attend to a dying prior g/f. There has to be a novel in there somewhere!

And I had words with my son today too. I love my son and he's a good guy in general but I might as well not exist. If I ask for help he's too busy or tired or something. Today I called and asked if he could please bring me the lawnmower as I just didn't have the strength to lift it in & out of the car today. Mid afternoon he showed up with a friend of his. He was on crutches for some serious shin splints that have him off work for at least a week. Ok, I understood he couldn't do anything major....but his attitude just ticked me off. He said if I could wait till next week he'd come by. (I can't wait till next week...he could tell that) I lost it. I told him I loved him but felt very hurt that he cannot find any time to help me. That I understood he had a wife and child and job but he also has a mother who has no one to help her with most things. Plus I have a kid at home and a full time job too. I know it probably upset him....and part of me feels bad but I just don't know what I did to instill in him this lack of compassion for me. It was just the two of us for half his life until his sister was born. We were very close. And still are in a lot of ways. But unless HE needs something, he doesn't darken my door.


Ok, I don't know if I feel better or not but I will end my tirade.

LuAnn


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
reallyworried
Member since Nov-1-04
102 posts
Oct-26-08, 09:34 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to reallyworried Click to add this user to your buddy list  
28. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I voted blue. I felt horrible after I found out and so embarrassed. I did destructive things and didn't think about stuff. I was with someone who was a bad person. But it got better.
Saying that though, I still have times that I feel that sinking feeling in my stomach and feel horrible about myself because of herpes. Mostly when I feel like I might be getting an outbreak.
I think having a wonderful boyfriend (who will someday be my husband)has helped the most because I found out I can still be accepted. It does eat at me some though that I'm afraid to give it to him. He says he doesn't care and if he did get it he wouldn't tell me...I don't know how I feel about that!


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
1 sad girl
Charter Member
Nov-17-08, 02:29 PM (CST)
Click to EMail 1%20sad%20girl Click to send private message to 1%20sad%20girl Click to add this user to your buddy list  
29. "RE: herpes and depression"
In response to message #1
 
   I actually just got off prozac for depression earlier this year. I have been suffeing from depression and anxiety in the past without knowing about this. Now my depression is back, worse than ever, along with guilt, shame and suicidal thoughts. Right now the only reason I haven't done anything stupid is because I have an amazing son to take care of whose daddy happens to be in Iraq. Huh, that makes it worse for me too, him not being here. Oh well, at least I am not giving it to him.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15475 posts
May-02-08, 12:08 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Rajah Click to send private message to Rajah Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
4. "I'm not inclined to vote in this one..."
In response to message #0
 
When I was first diagnosed, I was in a marriage, albeit a dysfunctional one, but I wasn't so much upset about having herpes as the behavior on the part of my (then) wife that caused me to get it. Two years later, when I finally divorced her, it did hit me that I was going to have to deal with having herpes in the dating pool.

I don't think it hit the threshold of clinical depression, although I did go see a counsellor a few times. It's hard, too, to separate the level of discomfort with having herpes with the other turmoil in my life including the divorce and the financial upheaval going on at that time.

The things that helped me were getting a handle on my financial problems and finding this place to help with herpes issues.


"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
zinnia
Member since Aug-17-08
1013 posts
May-02-08, 02:03 PM (CST)
Click to EMail zinnia Click to send private message to zinnia Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
5. "yellow"
In response to message #0
 
I voted yellow because it took me about six months to put myself back together. it probably would have been easier if i hadn't been dealing with constant symptoms, a nasty breakup, losing my job, getting pneumonia, and all of that. but...i am better now and stronger because of it. so there, H!!!


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
casey1
Member since Jul-8-04
159 posts
May-02-08, 03:11 PM (CST)
Click to EMail casey1 Click to send private message to casey1 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
6. "RE: yellow"
In response to message #5
 
   I think the pain issue really does keep your mind in a bad place. It took me 6 months to a year to not feel, as y'all say, like a walking biohazard, but I know now how much worse I feel when it just frigging HURTS all the time.

I just couldn't overcome it until the pain was gone.

casey


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
C16679admin
Member since Aug-29-06
9733 posts
May-02-08, 03:31 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to C16679 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
7. "RE: yellow"
In response to message #6
 
   I voted for dark blue.

I've never been clinically depressed, but getting my positive HSV result was definitely one of the most depressed times in my life--in the top three (the others being the end of a 4 year live-in relationship and the death of my dog).

Anyway, I'd say I was quite depressed and upset for about 2 weeks. I was anxious, depressed, crying, and had a hard time thinking of anything except Herpes. But even as bad as that sounds, it wasn't every waking moment; I certainly knew on an intellectual level that it was not so bad, I still functioned in my life, and I did feel better very gradually each day.

Overall I was depressed for about 5 weeks, but I think it dragged out that long b/c I was waiting for test results for two partners and I was so anxious and feeling guilty, assuming I had infected multiple people (including the new g/f of one of the guys). I was absolutely elated when their results came back within a couple days of each other and both were negative.

My best friend and my regular partner, D., were really helpful to me when I was so upset. Both were able to listen to me rant and rave and spew endless Herpes facts, lol. And D. was really loving and supportive and never really freaked out about it, which made a world of difference, I'm sure. And, of course, finding HHP was tremendously beneficial. It was very nice during those early, insanely obsessive days, to have a dynamic message board (as opposed to just an unchanging list of facts) to learn all the details. And as I always say, I was surprised and so relieved when I stumbled into the Off Topic folder and realized that even people who had some tough Herpes issues actually had other stuff going on in their lives (wow, imagine that--Herpes wasn't ALL-consuming forever!) and could joke about things, etc.

C.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
muffinadmin
Member since Sep-10-04
6329 posts
May-02-08, 03:32 PM (CST)
Click to EMail muffin Click to send private message to muffin Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
9. "RE: red"
In response to message #6
 
LAST EDITED ON May-02-08 AT 03:33 PM (CST)
 
I've never been clinically depressed about it.

I was diagnosed way before there were online support groups. When I told him, he said "I feel like an asshole. Who's gonna want to be with you now". Apparently, not him. We were broken up. I thought this night together was a step toward reuniting. I was wrong.

I didn't tell anyone and didn't want anyone to know. As a result, I couldn't very well go around depressed. I didn't want to encourage attention and have people ask me what's wrong. Was it denial? Suppression? Survival? Strength? I don't know. But I found control in the fact that I had this secret and it couldn't affect me or my life if no one knew. Herpes and the stigma had no power over me if no one knew I had it. I could and did continue with life as normal.

Yes, of course there were moments over the course of the past 20+ years when it got me down. But I don't think my down moments lasted more than a few days at any given time. Perhaps longer if I was having a really bad ob but only for the duration of the ob.

muffin ~ GHSV1 since 1986

muffin through the years...

>

Paragraphs are a wonderful thing.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
livelaughlove
Member since Dec-31-07
113 posts
May-02-08, 06:49 PM (CST)
Click to EMail livelaughlove Click to send private message to livelaughlove Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
13. "RE: red"
In response to message #9
 
   muffin-since you've had GHSV1 for nearly 20 years what has your experience been like as far as outbreaks and dating?
i'm a newbie with GHSV1(less than a year) and you may have already mentioned what your experience has been. i have had one primary outbreak which was maybe 3 or 4 blisters and a second outbreak with a blister the size of a pinhead. i didn't know if i should expect less than that in the future? also have you given GHSV1 to any previous partner where there was unprotected sex?


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
graceadmin
Charter Member
13472 posts
May-02-08, 11:45 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to grace Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
15. "RE: red"
In response to message #13
 
livelaughlove - check out our poll forum. We have other polls there on who has what and where and how often ob's tend to be if you are interested in seeing what other members experiences have been

grace

The first step in stopping the perceived stigma about genital herpes - is to stop believing in it yourself


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
lab47
Member since Oct-1-07
192 posts
May-02-08, 03:31 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to lab47 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
8. "depression poll"
In response to message #0
 
   I never felt really down.. just stressed...I cried once over H, did the you cheated on me breakup and the senior year of college freak out..but it call came together


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
gran54
Member since Aug-22-07
412 posts
May-02-08, 04:22 PM (CST)
Click to EMail gran54 Click to send private message to gran54 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
10. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #8
 
I voted green, because I went through some pretty extensive counseling at the time I was diagnosed. I should add that I was likely also going through some post-partum depression as my daughter was very young. I was never prescribed depression meds, but I'm sure that's what was going on. I don't think those meds were very commonly given out at that time, but the counseling was invaluable in getting past the emotional pain. The physical pain continued for many years, unfortunately.

Being in a marriage for over 3 years at the time, and having no other partners but my husband for 3 years before that, I was having a hard time grasping the reality that he hadn't cheated on me. He admitted that he had been diagnosed prior to our getting married but thought he wouldn't have to tell me. He was under the false impression that as long as he abstained from sex during an OB that I wouldn't get it, thus his reasoning. Obviously, there were lots of flaws in that thinking. There was even more misinformation out there 30 years ago than there is now. I'm pretty sure his info came from his doc at the time. My doc confirmed that there was every possibility that he was telling me the truth and that I was just then contracting it. But it was still difficult to deal with.

Gran

"Choose your words carefully ... you never know when you might have to eat them."


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Angelika
Member since Aug-18-08
2252 posts
May-02-08, 05:03 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to Angelika Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
11. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #10
 
   LAST EDITED ON May-02-08 AT 05:16 PM (CST)
 
I voted yellow. I've never been the easy going happy go lucky type of person but I've never been nearly as depressed as I've been since I found out I had herpes. I think most of my depression stems from the fact that I passed it on to my boyfriend and that he has very frequent symptoms. Personally the way it's affected me is that I've become a lot more jealous, insecure and distrusful of my boyfriend, not that he is out there having sex with anyone but I've become obsessed thinking that now that he can't he must want to even more. I've always told all my ex boyfriends that if they wanted someone else I wanted them to tell me right away and end the relationship not cheat on me or what's worse to me thinking about someone else while having sex with me. UGH. Anyway every time we see a hot girl now I always think that my boyfriend must be thinking that he would love to be with her or at least have sex but how much it sucks that he can't. Plus I get depressed every time he has an outbreak which is almost constantly.

Oh just wanted to say, things have not gotten better over time for me so there really wasn't a good choice for me. I can't say I am newly diagnosed, it's been three years but things are not better and actually I am more depressed about it now b/c during the first year I was still hopeful his symptoms would subside. Now I am just depressed.

Who among mortals may boast himself born with a fortune beyond reach of harm? - Aeschylus


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
livelaughlove
Member since Dec-31-07
113 posts
May-02-08, 06:43 PM (CST)
Click to EMail livelaughlove Click to send private message to livelaughlove Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
12. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #11
 
   i voted for the second choice..i think as with most things:
time heals


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Stix
Member since Jan-18-06
43 posts
May-03-08, 03:27 AM (CST)
Click to EMail Stix Click to send private message to Stix Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
16. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #12
 
   LAST EDITED ON May-03-08 AT 03:45 AM (CST)
 
(UK Female aged 45) HSV2 25 years - and I struggle with it as I still get OBs (over the years they've migrated to my anal area - nice) which affect me greatly and I get depressed. I've had counselling, however the only people who can understand and relate to the despair are those with it.

What makes a huge difference, I believe, is the age at which you contract it, ie. if you get it at 48, at least you've developed and grown as an adult and expressed yourself with anxiety free sex. If you get it at 20, it's a whole different story. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's any easier for those who get it in maturity, it's just that it's hugely different.

Tired with it now after all these years - whenever I'm ill or run down, it'll reappear - just to compound an already bad sitch - fantastic!

It's being "contagious" that I've never been able to come to terms with. No amount of counselling is gonna change that. I got H pre-internet and pre discovery of asymptomatic shedding - what a psychological blow when it was discovered that it could be passed asymptomatically.

Yes, I do get down. Like now - as I'm single again and realising how difficult it is to date men of my age group, even without H it's a nightmare.

If this sounds negative, I'm sorry - being honest, just speaking how it is - for me, in my life.

Also wondering what affect having H has had on everybody's libido? I sure have had to keep a lid on mine over the years, which has driven me bonkers.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Angelika
Member since Aug-18-08
2252 posts
May-03-08, 03:50 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to Angelika Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
17. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #16
 
   I've experienced a lot of frustration connected to my sex drive b/c of herpes. My boyfriend has very frequent symptoms and sex is a trigger for his outbreaks. Often we can't have sex at all or when we do we can't do it as long or hard as I would sometimes like it. Often he just give me oral and then masturbates. I know that could be a dream come true for many women but I actually love having an intercourse. I've definately had to keep a lid on my libido since herpes whereas I never experienced anything like that before. My boyfriend got herpes when I was 26 and before him I dated guys in their twenties so they had really high sex drives and ability to have sex pretty much anytime so this does suck. I do hope it's not going to be like this forever but I don't have much hope.

Who among mortals may boast himself born with a fortune beyond reach of harm? - Aeschylus


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Stix
Member since Jan-18-06
43 posts
May-03-08, 06:06 AM (CST)
Click to EMail Stix Click to send private message to Stix Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
18. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #17
 
   LAST EDITED ON May-03-08 AT 06:16 AM (CST)
 
Angelika, can so relate, sorry I don't have any answers. It's so crap when the net result of something great, ie. sex and intimacy is pain and anguish, ie. OB. How can that *not* have a psychological effect? After sex, you're supposed to feel great and zingy and alive.(Extra lube can sometimes help but it's the friction that does it - which is basically what sex is all about - jeez, no escaping that!)

"Personally the way it's affected me is that I've become a lot more jealous, insecure and distrusful of my boyfriend"

My r/ships have been with non-H men and I've always struggled with the insecurity - thinking that he would much rather be with somebody who doesn't have it and feeling envious of other women - and I've even got past BFs to admit to it.

It takes *great* self confidence (or delusion!) to convince/assure yourself that your non-H man isn't thinking he'd rather not have the stress/grief. After all what's gonna make you so *special* that he's prepared to risk it? This question can haunt you.

Even if he says it's okay initially, years down the line, well it can change as he tires of it - and it's handy ammunition to be thrown at you in the heat of an argument - that can hurt. Of course this is the case with any "issues" but H is an "extra" issue straight off to deal with that he doesn't need, before the r/ship even gets underway. Hmmpffff ... guess we just have to try and deal with it the best way we can. It's complex.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Angelika
Member since Aug-18-08
2252 posts
May-03-08, 12:31 PM (CST)
Click to send private message to Angelika Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
19. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #18
 
   Yeah I am really worried since I am 28 now and people say that women's sex drives just go up in their thirties. If my sex drives goes anymore up it will not be good. I've tried to really stop thinking about sex whereas in the past I liked that whole thinking of it throughout the day so that later you are all turned on. Sex is 100 percent better that way. But I had to stop b/c it seems that everytime I let myself like think about it while we are out at dinner and then I try to have it, he can't. So basically the only time we have sex is when he initiates it since it has to be on his terms when he is not having an outbreak or is stressed or tired from work and that does suck for me. Also, I've never been a big fan of morning sex but that's pretty much all we have now b/c that's when he has more energy which is not all connected to herpes but somewhat. I just don't get in the mood as soon as I wake up. hahaha I mean in the past I would flat out just tell guys no for morning sex and then have it with them when I wanted to. Now if I don't have it in the morning I don't have it at all.

Who among mortals may boast himself born with a fortune beyond reach of harm? - Aeschylus


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
iUsed2BeMatt
Charter Member
May-03-08, 12:52 PM (CST)
Click to EMail iUsed2BeMatt Click to send private message to iUsed2BeMatt Click to add this user to your buddy list  
20. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #18
 
   dont really know how to answer this, not one thing directly applies to me....

pre herpes- holding onto the "idea" of things, lost in the idea/dream of society, passive dislike for most people overlooked, general feelings of optomism despite small complications...Illusion of things mattering keep me on the "normal" tracks...

post herpes- runaway train......strong dislike and lack of understanding for most all people, feelings of extreme isolation, both physically, but more importantly within the frameworks of society/dating. Too many restrictions, once "normal" situations forever looked at through different eyes. amazing how people dont realize how much the situation changes depending on the eyes you look at it through, at face level a party is still a party, but its really not.........Multiple passive agression sarcastic semi emo/gothic non violent self destructive tendancies , leaving schoool, and my friends to become an aspiring substance abuse addicted gambling introverted myssterious hermit......



  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
jennyfromla
Member since May-20-07
703 posts
May-04-08, 08:19 AM (CST)
Click to EMail jennyfromla Click to send private message to jennyfromla Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
23. "RE: depression poll"
In response to message #20
 
   >dont really know how to answer this, not one thing directly
>applies to me....
>
>
>
>pre herpes- holding onto the "idea" of things, lost in the
>idea/dream of society, passive dislike for most people
>overlooked, general feelings of optomism despite small
>complications...Illusion of things mattering keep me on the
>"normal" tracks...
>
>post herpes- runaway train......strong dislike and lack of
>understanding for most all people, feelings of extreme
>isolation, both physically, but more importantly within the
>frameworks of society/dating. Too many restrictions, once
>"normal" situations forever looked at through different
>eyes. amazing how people dont realize how much the
>situation changes depending on the eyes you look at it
>through, at face level a party is still a party, but its
>really not.........Multiple passive agression sarcastic semi
> emo/gothic non violent self destructive tendancies ,
>leaving schoool, and my friends to become an aspiring
>substance abuse addicted gambling introverted myssterious
>hermit......


Matt, I seem to remember some advice you gave me when I was new here ....something about going on one of the herpes dating sites, some shots of tequila, a "purdy new outfit" and a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am suggestion.

May I suggest the same? You cute enough you don't even need the new outfit!

Truly, friend, you have got to turn this around!!! And, only you can do it.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
happened2me
Member since Apr-3-07
89 posts
May-03-08, 04:33 PM (CST)
Click to EMail happened2me Click to send private message to happened2me Click to add this user to your buddy list  
21. "voted for the second one"
In response to message #0
 
   I had been diagnosed with clinical depression prior to being diagnosed.It did take a while to get over the diagnosis, and am almost there!

Kiss slowly...laugh insanely...love truly...and forgive quickly!



  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Lenoreadmin
Member since Oct-22-04
4281 posts
May-03-08, 08:41 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Lenore Click to add this user to your buddy list  
22. "depression"
In response to message #0
 
   I've never had trouble with depression once I got over being a teenager. I have a hard time really remembering how I felt when I realized that I had herpes because it was so long ago and it was a gradual realization, not a sudden type of thing.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
gypsystar
Member since Oct-12-08
12 posts
Oct-12-08, 02:04 PM (CST)
Click to EMail gypsystar Click to send private message to gypsystar Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
25. "none fit"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Oct-12-08 AT 02:05 PM (CDT)
 
not sure which one to vote for...
I've had this for 20 years, never officially diagnosed. 20 years ago when I went to the university health center I was told I had an infected hair. Took me about 5 years to figure out what it was (this was pre-internet).
I've had a roller-coaster of depression over this....the worst started 2 years ago when I got divorced, so now I'm single and faced with the fact that I can't date or have sex. yes I'm very depressed, no I haven't sought treatment, I don't want to be on an anti-depresent, thats not going to cure the fact that I have HSV. So my answer is yes, severe depression at times and I don't see the point of seeking treatment.

I'll add that yes I have had sex in the last 2 years but I have not discosed this to anyone, so I cant bring myself to continue seeing annyone beyond a couple months....I feel guilty and break it off.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15475 posts
Oct-12-08, 06:32 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Rajah Click to send private message to Rajah Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
26. "Why not discuss it ??"
In response to message #25
 
When I got divorced a few years after getting herpes from an unfaithful wife, I was a bit depressed about my chances of finding someone, but I started dating in spite of that and was upfront about having herpes before I put anyone at risk. Nobody ran away. I've now been with my new wife for almost 10 years. She's still negative. The ones I told were impresses that I was responsible about having herpes and respected them enough that I told them even though it was a bit tough. The first time is the most difficult, but it quickly gets easier after that.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Scooter
Member since Sep-27-08
500 posts
Oct-25-08, 12:12 PM (CST)
Click to EMail Scooter Click to send private message to Scooter Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
27. "RE: Why not discuss it ??"
In response to message #26
 
I voted pink. I do have a history of mild depression and cognitively change gears to deal with it. The diagnosis of HSV2 didn't hit me as hard as the symptoms. I've been one of the unfortunate few that experienced severe itching and nerve pain when I contracted the virus. I continue to feel the virus everyday with nerve irritation. I did start counseling to help cope with the daily symptoms. This forum helps me more than counseling. For me I need to relate to others that have gone through the experience. I've tried depression medication in the past and for me I just feel like it's better to deal with my depression head on. The way I deal with everything. I just started taking some Pamelor 10mg in an effort to decrease my nerve pain.

Scooter

"The two most powerful warriors are
patience and time". Leo Tolstoy



  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

 

Advertisements appearing on this page do not constitute any endorsement of 
those products or services by HHP or its management.

All opinions expressed here by the HHP, its management and participants constitute just that, opinions.
No medical relationship with any participant is implied in any way.
Each individual's personal doctor is responsible for the medical advice and care of that person.