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Subject: "How long did it take for you to become "ok, I can live with this" abou..."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Conferences The Poll Forum Topic #22
Reading Topic #22

POLL: How long did it take for you to get to "ok, I can live with this" about your herpes diagnosis?
Posted by muffin on Oct-25-08, 06:44 AM CST
Result after a total of 62 votes

Less than a month 19 votes, 30% Vote for this choice
1-3 months 14 votes, 22% Vote for this choice
3-6 months 3 votes, 4% Vote for this choice
6-12 months 4 votes, 6% Vote for this choice
more than a year (please post how long) 9 votes, 14% Vote for this choice
I haven't gotten there yet (please post how long you have been coping) 13 votes, 20% Vote for this choice
Edit this poll | Post message to this poll

  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
How long did it take for you to become "ok, I can live with this" abou... [View All] muffinadmin Oct-25-08 TOP
  I cried for about a month klfr Oct-25-08 1
     RE: I was absolutely fine with it within the 1st week. mellow_27 Oct-25-08 2
         RE: I was absolutely fine with it within the 1st week. C16679admin Oct-25-08 3
  About Month lab47 Oct-25-08 4
     RE: About Month Stressed00 Oct-25-08 5
         I must be more of a pessimist . . . casey1 Oct-25-08 6
             RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . . auntiejessiadmin Oct-25-08 7
                 RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . . Angelika Oct-25-08 8
                     RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . . graceadmin Oct-26-08 9
                         RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . . silver lining Oct-26-08 10
  still dealing Flounder Oct-26-08 11
  Had to get over twice.... Landlover Oct-26-08 12
  It took me a month or so starrattadmin Oct-26-08 13
  6-12 mos reallyworried Oct-26-08 14
     RE: 6-12 mos muffinadmin Oct-28-08 15
     RE: 6-12 mos Molly55 Nov-12-08 17
  still dealing with it fallen_angel Nov-03-08 16
     RE: still dealing with it Scooter Nov-15-08 18
         RE: still dealing with it 1 sad girl Nov-17-08 19
             RE: still dealing with it StillAgoddess Jan-02-09 20
         RE: still dealing with it ntdc Jun-11-09 23
  Didn't shower for a few.... notabigdeal Jan-16-09 21
  OK with it? whimzical1 Apr-15-09 22
     RE: Zombina Jun-12-09 24
  It's not easy. mini_ninja Jun-15-09 25
     RE: It's not easy. Bettee21 Aug-25-10 27
  How long did it take? beth22 Nov-18-09 26

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klfr
Member since Dec-3-04
277 posts
Oct-25-08, 08:22 AM (CST)
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1. "I cried for about a month"
In response to message #0
 
   After a month of crying (including the New Years from hell where everyone was a couple except for me and my herpes I spent midnight sobbing in the bathroom) I finally figured out that I couldn't change what had happened to me, the only thing I could change was my attitude.

I also figured out that if I learned everything I could about it, it would make it easier for telling prospective partners.

It made a huge difference and now, other than that nervousness of telling prospective partners, H hasn't made a huge difference in my life.


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mellow_27
Member since Aug-18-08
267 posts
Oct-25-08, 08:51 AM (CST)
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2. "RE: I was absolutely fine with it within the 1st week."
In response to message #1
 
I really didn't get all down and depressed about it at all. I was told, exact words out of my mouth was "well this is lovely", went home told my bf who was very supportive (which I'm sure helped very much), then went and educated myself about it sense I really didn't know much about it; then I was completely fine.

~Mama~


Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.


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C16679admin
Member since Aug-29-06
9733 posts
Oct-25-08, 10:16 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: I was absolutely fine with it within the 1st week."
In response to message #2
 
   Well, I voted for less than a month.

I knew enough about Herpes already to know I would be OK. So on an intellectual level, I didn't need to spend a lot of time to get "OK" with it. I'd say the first couple of weeks were the worst in terms of crying and having Herpes in my thoughts constantly. And I was anxious until 5 weeks had gone by at which point the negative results came in for the two guys I'd been involved with.

Anyway, I guess for me, IMO, there was a distinction between knowing I was fine and would be fine vs. still being upset, worried about partners, going thru a bit of a mourning process.

C.


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lab47
Member since Oct-1-07
192 posts
Oct-25-08, 10:58 AM (CST)
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4. "About Month"
In response to message #0
 
   I cried for a week, failed a midterm (got a chance to re-take it and got an A!) and realized what a waste feeling sorry for myself was. That didn't mean I didn't encounter people who weren't feeling the H vibe, but found so many more people who didn't mind or who had it themselves. H has changed very little about my life except for positive ways. Sure my outbreaks can be linked to alcohol and sun and my period which means I am no longer a drunk and easy girl who will get skin cancer who is now period free.


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Stressed00
Member since May-30-06
939 posts
Oct-25-08, 12:36 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: About Month"
In response to message #4
 
   I voted less than a month, too. In fact, I don't ever recall really freaking out about it. I thin the fact that it's manageable helped. I knew I had options and it wasn't going to always be as painful as the first outbreak.


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casey1
Member since Jul-8-04
159 posts
Oct-25-08, 12:54 PM (CST)
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6. "I must be more of a pessimist . . ."
In response to message #5
 
   I can honestly say it took me 6 months to a year, but I believe it has much to do with how much pain you're in. Valtrex did nothing for about 6 months so I was having about 2 outbreaks a month, each lasting about 6 days. I couldn't drive or sit without pain and you could forget wearing my sexy jeans. Not a good mental outlook.

Once I controlled the outbreaks with Famvir I could work on the mental process, but I couldn't focus on that aspect until I got through the pain. And the good people here helped, of course.

Just wanted to let others know that when we say "it will get better" we're not just blowing sunshine up your skirts. Sometimes the "will" just takes longer than you want.

casey


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Oct-25-08, 12:59 PM (CST)
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7. "RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . ."
In response to message #6
 
I voted for less than a month, but that's emotionally. Physically, it took a year for things to calm down.

I was pissy about the pain and near constant obs, and not to sound melodramatic, but I was used to chronic pain, so it was just another thing on the list to deal with. Like Casey, I didn't respond to valtrex at ALL, and once I got bv, grooup b strep, and some hormonal issues cleared up, and started famvir, life got a whole lot better.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Angelika
Member since Aug-18-08
2252 posts
Oct-25-08, 01:43 PM (CST)
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8. "RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . ."
In response to message #7
 
   Honestly I never really had the time or opportunity to think about how herpes affects me. I have hardly any physical symptoms so it doesn't affect me physically. I found out I had it by transmitting it so my biggest concern since than has been the guilt, the concern over my boyfriend's frequent symptoms, how it's affecting him emotionally and physically, and how it's affecting our sex life and life in general. I wonder about how he copes with it, if he regrets being with me, if he wants to break up with me and be with someone else but doesn't do it b/c his options are limited with just frequent herpes outbreaks. I also mourn the diminished quality and quantity of our sex life.

I would say that it took a long time for me to not sink into a depression, frustration and disappointment every time he got an outbreak. I tried to buy him all kinds of different supplements to see if they would help and was disappointed each time they didn't. It's three years now since his diagnosis and just in the last several months I've stopped feeling depressed every time he has an outbreak. I feel like I've accepted the way my life is now with herpes affecting it.

Who among mortals may boast himself born with a fortune beyond reach of harm? - Aeschylus


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graceadmin
Charter Member
13445 posts
Oct-26-08, 03:34 AM (CST)
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9. "RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . ."
In response to message #8
 
it's never really been an issue for me so I voted for the less than a month option myself.

grace

The first step in stopping the perceived stigma about genital herpes - is to stop believing in it yourself


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silver lining
Member since Aug-19-08
927 posts
Oct-26-08, 07:46 AM (CST)
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10. "RE: I must be more of a pessimist . . ."
In response to message #9
 
   i voted 3-6 months, as it was probably about 4 or 5 months. the first couple of months were hell mentally. it was hard to put into perspective. the outbreak itself wasn't terrible but it took a while to completely go away visually, which i was obsessed with, and then i had plenty of residual nerve pain for months, which made it hard to think of anything else, and still hasn't left me completely but has calmed down a lot. luckily i had no outbreaks since the primary. i went through a lot of stages with mourning the loss of my sexual freedom and i still do but i know i can deal and people have a lot worse problems. also i assumed my GHSV was type 2 for months before finding out it was type 1, at which point i rejoiced, but then sort of came back down to earth. (and i had reached a point where i was ok with having type 2, so i believed i was even more so ok with type 1.)

now it's been about 9 months and a recent incident has shown that herpes will affect my life more than i wanted it to or had hoped and believed it would, for now anyway. (sorry to be vague.) so at the moment i am pretty obsessive over it again. i know that herpes is unpredictable, and i know that life events may change how it behaves, or how i feel about having it mentally, so i know it will be a roller coaster. but i still wanted to answer the question as to how long it took me to process it initially and accept having it as being within 3-6 months.

http://loveinthetimeofherpes.blogspot.com/


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Flounder
Member since Aug-20-08
36 posts
Oct-26-08, 01:55 PM (CST)
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11. "still dealing"
In response to message #0
 
   i put i havent gotten there yet becuase well because its been since the end of july beginging of august and although the out breaks have stopped and the actual virus is not a big deal i found out while also just getting out of a six year relationship so trying to deal with the relationship ending and this news its taken me a while. im not saying im crying everyday and i do still hang out with friends and my life really hasnt changed much. its just the fact that im terrified of even talking to guys because of the fact that i may have to tell them and i feel that they will all run away screaming to the world hey that girl has herpes. other then that im doing pretty well

set out each day believing in your dreams know without a doubt that you were made for amazing things ~josh hinds


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Landlover
Member since Aug-25-08
168 posts
Oct-26-08, 04:57 PM (CST)
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12. "Had to get over twice...."
In response to message #0
 
Well I did not vote...I don't feel I really can yet

The first time was within a few months of my new marriage 18 years ago, according to the doc this was a recent exposure so it had to be from my husband. Since I was in a committed marriage, I got over it pretty fast, he says he did not know, I believe him.

The second time is after my marraige fell apart and I left. That took at a couple years, because I knew I would always disclose it first.

Know I have more to deal with, after hearing about so many false positives I had myself retested and am getting tested again. The doctor is now telling me I am negative for hsvII (they did not report the results for HSV1 antibodies). I am making them dig up my old archived records to see how the first diagnoses was determined. Knowing I have cold sores on my mouth when I get sick, I am now on a mission.

Wouldn't ya know it...just when I finally come to terms with it.


Define "Brains"


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starrattadmin
Charter Member
2075 posts
Oct-26-08, 10:12 PM (CST)
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13. "It took me a month or so"
In response to message #0
 
I have to admit I was having a pitty party as I was also watching a not-so-great and not-so-longterm relationship fly out the window at the same time. I was feeling lousy physically and emotionally I was not a happy camper either.

Like Jess, I came to terms with it sooner than my symptoms took to abate.

Be well,
Lorraine

Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikaans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)


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reallyworried
Member since Nov-1-04
102 posts
Oct-26-08, 11:22 PM (CST)
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14. "6-12 mos"
In response to message #0
 
   I did a lot of stupid things because herpes made me feel like I wasn't as good as people without it. I stuck with a bad guy cuz I thought I'd never find a good one to accept it.
I still feel like it can get to me sometimes and its been since Aug/Sep 2004 when I found out. Mainly when I feel like I'm getting an outbreak or think about passing it to my boyfriend.


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muffinadmin
Member since Sep-10-04
6329 posts
Oct-28-08, 06:44 PM (CST)
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15. "RE: 6-12 mos"
In response to message #14
 
bump

muffin ~ GHSV1 since 1986

Anyone who has sex is at risk for herpes.

muffin through the years...

>

Paragraphs are a wonderful thing.


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Molly55
Member since Feb-9-06
207 posts
Nov-12-08, 07:30 PM (CST)
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17. "RE: 6-12 mos"
In response to message #14
 
   I voted for a year or more -- it probably took about 1 and a half. Unfortunately herpes happened at a time when i was dealing with the end of a 5 year relationship and I didn't get it from the ex. I was already overwhelmed with grief that getting this on top of it led to depression, anxiety and ultimately drugs and counselling.
Once I started suppressives, it helped a lot not dealing with it every month, and the fact that my best man friend (now boyfriend) was so supportive when i told him about it. But like ReallyWorried said -- it still gets to me sometimes if i feel something funny down there or when i think about passing it to my wonderful boyfriend...


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fallen_angel
Member since Oct-15-08
33 posts
Nov-03-08, 07:29 PM (CST)
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16. "still dealing with it"
In response to message #0
 
   i put i'm stilling dealing with it, its been about 2 months for me, and i have had alot of ob so i'm on the med. for it, and i'm still trying to deal with telling and explaining out i feel, i haven't got with any guy i'm not that far yet, i won't let anyone touch me, the person i got it from is no help and say he dosn't have it, so i think its going to be awhile for me


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Scooter
Member since Sep-27-08
500 posts
Nov-15-08, 10:49 PM (CST)
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18. "RE: still dealing with it"
In response to message #16
 
I debated wether to answer on this topic. I have had it just over a year and I have not come to terms with my HSV2 status and probably won't for a very long time.

The long and the short of it is I almost lost job, have symptoms everyday, and just saw a pain management specialist for severe nerve pain (this disease attacks the sensory portion of the nerves). We decided to try a combination of Famvir 250x mg 2x a day and 500mg Valtrex at night. I chose to do it this way because I feel sick on the valtrex and cannot take it during the day. I may switch the regime to 1000mg of Famvir if I can afford it. I can relate to some meds working for you and others not. This disease just LOVES ME and is ruling my life. I still have symptoms everyday on the increased med although now the nerve pain is more manageable. I feel relieved I'm not back to contemplating a leave of absence from work.

As far as changing my heath, my sexual freedom, and independence (I won't be quitting my job anytime soon and traveling to Europe w/o health insurance because generic Famvir is about $400 bucks for 60 pills) this has been a LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE!

I will confess that I have much bitterness and anger that will take a long time to resolve. I truly believe the person I contracted this from KNEW he had it and chose not to disclose it. I feel VERY GRATEFUL that I was able to file a lawsuit and have him served. To my surprise my primary care doctor and counselor thought that was a very good idea. It is VERY DIFFICULT to harbor deep feelings of hatred everyday for another human being. The added sadness for me is I had a very peaceful anger free no drama life before this event.

If you're one of those people that have little to no symptoms with this disease COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS Every person's immune response is different to this disease and it can make your life a living hell! For some of us filing a lawsuit is the right choice
and disclosing your H status is ALWAYS THE RIGHT CHOICE!


Scooter

Scooter

"The two most powerful warriors are
patience and time". Leo Tolstoy



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1 sad girl
Charter Member
Nov-17-08, 02:27 PM (CST)
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19. "RE: still dealing with it"
In response to message #18
 
   I have had it for many years, only just found out a week ago. I see no light at the end of the depression tunnel. Although I have a very supportive husband, I just can't see getting past this.


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StillAgoddess
Member since Jan-2-09
19 posts
Jan-02-09, 04:51 AM (CST)
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20. "RE: still dealing with it"
In response to message #19
 
   a week after my first outbreak i broke down crying infront of the mirror. I stared at myself in the mirror and repeated over and over again "you re beautiful and you still deserve to be loved." i have to tell myself that all the time when i get sad. I dont know if i will ever get over this. my immune system sucks.


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ntdc
Member since May-28-09
130 posts
Jun-11-09, 01:07 AM (CST)
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23. "RE: still dealing with it"
In response to message #18
 
   I understand how you feel. I think the symptoms really affect you deal with it. While theres rare asymptomatic person who is devastated by a positive blood test, it seems like the worse symptoms are the more difficult it is to accept.

My initial outbreak came very quickly only 30 hrs after exposure. I always considered myself a healthy person, but clearly i was not my immune system must have been completely shot the virus rolled right in.

After diagnosis i was given single day famvir and the virus was knocked back into 3 weeks of blissful latency. Sadly that was the last time of feeling normal I have had.


Since the first recurrence I have had outbreaks every 2-3 days despite that I'm taking daily doses of medication 2-3x recommended suppression dose. The meds make the symptoms a bit less nasty but doesnt suppress them in any way. I get alot of "aborts" on the medication, ones that come out and go away in a few days, but i have new ones forming every 2-3 days so its not really helpful. These are on my face, which was rather patchy with acne to begin with, so now its a real mess. If i cut back the dose to "normal" or none for even 12hrs blisters form. Thank god the GHSV is well controlled on the high dose of meds. On the recommended dose the GHSV breaks out into "cuts" as well.

I also have nerve pain similar to what many describe. It feels like someone stabbing me in the face from the inside constantly coupled with weird sore/stiff jaw probs. I felt maybe its a side effect of the meds but after reading pain forum i doubt it. Also back/tailbone pain which thank god goes away on meds. Narcotic painkillers seem to aggrivate the outbreaks , plus they are addictive so its not really a long-term option.

The oddest/worst thing is also if i drop dose of meds I have severe nonstop lymph node swelling ( adenopothy). So far my nodes have never really gone back to normal, but with meds they are least stop hurting. On regular suppressive dose of meds, my nodes feel like they are going to burst 24/7, its the most painful thing I have *ever* experienced, it is non stop, no doc can explain it.

Also my eye is infected, in some way. I am not sure infection is corneal cause I don't get symptoms like most people describe. Its more like allergic eye probs. Very itchy and burning but not red. If i drop dose of meds for 1-2 days it comes back and it takes me over 2wks of high dose meds to get it back under control. I am scared to go off the meds now because of my eye. There seems to be weird blisters forming on the rim of my eyelid, but I dont know if its herpes or blocked sebaceous glands, since i never really looked that close until after infection.

Ofc meds are making me feel bad every day, no idea what its doing to my body, probably murdering kidneys who knows.

I have been "dealing" with this for a bit less than a year, it feels like 100 years. I cant believe some people on the pain forum like PASM55 have been dealing with it > 10yrs I admire her for not giving up. I am depressed often with thoughts of suicide especially when the pain is very bad, dont worry i am getting help.

I have some hope it will get better, but frankly every day that passes it gets worse.

I thank god every day for the small things like I do not have it worse like some people (the poor girl with elsberg syndrome or people with encephalitis/meningitis). Also I am glad I did not catch HIV.

I am happy the disease is manageable for most people and that the most often its considered to be more psychologically damaging than physically. However I feel sad because there will not ever be a significant push for better treatment since only rare cases are serious.


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notabigdeal
Member since Jan-16-09
6 posts
Jan-16-09, 10:24 PM (CST)
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21. "Didn't shower for a few...."
In response to message #0
 
   Okay, so that's an overstatement, but I remember being very, very, depressed. As soon as I told someone I wanted to be my boyfriend and he was okay with it...I was much better and don't think about it anymore. About 4 months.


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whimzical1
Member since Jan-30-09
4 posts
Apr-15-09, 05:36 PM (CST)
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22. "OK with it?"
In response to message #0
 
   I don't know how to answer this one. I was fine for the first 4 months and then totally fell apart, cried everyday, thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I got over that in about 4 or 5 weeks, talked to a professional briefly, and moved on. I don't really think about it much, until I see someone I find attractive, and in the back of my mind is 'you'll have to tell him' but so far, it hasn't gotten to the point of telling but two times. This second time has been hard for me, but I think because I stupidly gave in to a 'booty call' with him, let him come over knowing that was all it would be, and now I'm feeling badly about how I acted, and wondering if he would have been interested in more if my circumstances were different. So maybe I'm blaming HSV2 for his bad behavior - I'm blaming my bad behavior on not having had a physical relationship in a very long time and so wanted to be held by a man.
So I don't know if I'm OK with it or not. I think I am, and I just made a foolish decision, and now I'm projecting, and blaming HSV when I don't have a clue if that's the answer. ummmm, what was the question again??
LOL

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." Albert Einstein


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Zombina
Member since Mar-10-09
109 posts
Jun-12-09, 03:05 PM (CST)
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24. "RE:"
In response to message #22
 
I've been living with H for about 7 years now, and I really only started making strides in accepting it and being happy with my life in the last year or so. Before I just kinda tried to sweep it under the rug and not think about it. Now I've really educated myself about it, and have told a couple of friends where I live. I was in a great relationship for 6 months, and it taught me a lot about myself and who I am. And who I am is so much more than the virus I have.
Even if it doesn't seem like it's going to be "okay" right now I've learned that time heals all and everybody is different in how they cope with the news that they have genital herpes. It doesn't always have to be a struggle, and a positive attitude can make all the difference.


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mini_ninja
Member since Mar-30-09
28 posts
Jun-15-09, 01:05 AM (CST)
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25. "It's not easy."
In response to message #0
 
It's been over a year since I had my initial outbreak. I still think about it everyday, and have my little bouts of sadness. I wish I could find the peace of mind that I see blooming all over the place in this lovely forum, but it's definitely taking some real work on my part.


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Bettee21
Member since Aug-24-10
18 posts
Aug-25-10, 01:00 PM (CST)
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27. "RE: It's not easy."
In response to message #25
 
   For reals this isn't easy!!! I had what I think was my first outbreak. I went to the doc and got swabbed. I'm waiting for the results. I'm trying to accept the fact beforfe the results come in. It helps reading how others have accepted it. How can they do that?! if I am pos its definately going to change my life and the way I operate. Glad to know I'm not alone in my feelings only thing keepin me some what content with this situation


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beth22
Member since Nov-18-09
2 posts
Nov-18-09, 10:32 AM (CST)
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26. "How long did it take?"
In response to message #0
 
   LAST EDITED ON Nov-18-09 AT 10:37 AM (CST)
 
I've had this for 6 months and just told someone I was seeing, he's been avoiding me since I told him. Kinda down about it, and definitely not dating anytime soon, it hurts too much.

I have some ok days, a few good days.


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