LAST EDITED ON Jul-18-13 AT 01:29 PM (CST)
It is not my intention to post this information in order to defame another site, it is my intention to help other sufferers of Herpes to avoid wasting their time!
About Herpes Anonymous
A warning to all herpes sufferers, don't join Herpes Anonymous! (http://www.herpesanonymous.com/)
At least, donít join if what you are looking for is a comforting, supportive, and positive experience!
I joined this site in order to meet other people who, like me, have herpes and want to share their experiences with, meet, and possibly date others in the same position. A legitimate reason, as there site title clearly states "free dating site + support community".
When I joined this site, the first thing I did was place a post in the forum thanking the site owners for providing this free service. I felt this was the least I could do, after all they were providing this useful service for free!
I then did a search, to meet somebody of the opposite sex, and sent a message to three different ladies in the Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada area, where I live. I got no response from any of them, nor did I receive any email confirmations that my messages had been sent. It was clearly stated on the site that email confirmations would be sent to the sender whenever a message was sent to another member.
I then placed a polite post in the forum, commenting on how inactive the site appeared to be, and stating my hopes that it would get busier in the future.
Shortly after this post I tried contacting the three original women again, and at the same time I tried contacting other members as well. Again I received no responses at all, from any of them. And again I did not receive any email confirmations that my messages had been sent.
At this point I placed a third post on the forum.
Basically, I explained what had happened with my posts. I also stated that perhaps I was just unlucky and the person's in question were simply not responding to my messages. I too mentioned that, as per the information provided by the site, I was supposed to receive confirmations by email whenever I sent a message, and that I never received any such confirmations. I therefore politely asked that admin check into it, as I thought there could be a glitch within the system.
A few days after this last post, I tried to log onto my account. For some reason, the system told me that my account did not exist. Presuming that I had made some type of error, I tried to log on two more times. At this point I figured that something must have happened to make my account void.
I went onto the Herpes Anonymous forum as a guest. When I got into the forum, the first thing I noticed was that all three of my posts were gone.
I presumed at this point that I was right, and that some kind of error had occurred which cancelled my account. No problem, I thought to myself, I would just open a new account.
I then completed a new application for an account using the same email I had used for the first account. When you apply for an account on Herpes Anonymous, you have to wait approximately 12 hours to have your account activated. At 7:49AM the next morning, I received a confirmation email from the sites administrator.
This is the content of the response I received from HA Admin:
HA Admin: Your profile submission has been declined.
The following is the content of the emails that we exchanged with each other after I received their initial response:
Me: Why have you cancelled my account, and then refused me a new account?
HA Admin: We don't want negativity on the site.
Me: Reporting a possible technical problem with the way the site is functioning is not negativity!
I have made a total of three forum submissions on your site, the first thanking you for providing the service, and complimenting you on a good job.
The second mentioning how quiet it seemed, and hoping things would get busier; and the third reporting to you what I thought might be a technical problem, something I would hope you would want your members to do to help you admin the site.
I have a site of my own, so I have a good idea how admin is performed.
If you are being critical about the things I just mentioned, you are not preventing negativity, you are being a dictator.
Perhaps you should re-think your position as administrator of this site. Behaving the way you do is only making the site worse.
It is bad enough that we have to suffer with this disease; we don't need you, or anyone like you, arbitrarily making it more uncomfortable for us.
HA Admin: I appreciate your position, however we see things differently.
If you promise to behave yourself, I'll allow you back. But I want to be very clear: I will not tolerate any sort of complaining or negativity.
Me: As I previously stated, I did not "complain" about anything! In fact, I have behaved in a very positive manner. Perhaps you would be kind enough to explain to me exactly what I said that you felt was negative.
HA Admin: I'm not going to have a debate with you. Either you agree to my terms, or buzz off.
Me: I am not debating with you. You said that I could be re-instated if I promised to behave myself. Therefore I am only trying to find out what you feel that I specifically did that was negative, in order to avoid losing my membership a second time.
HA Admin: Okay, I'm through with this cat-and-mouse silliness. Buh-bye now.
Me: If you consider genuine concern as "cat and mouse silliness" you are clearly biased, or perhaps petty would be a more apt description! If this is how interested you are about your members concerns, trust me, the last thing I would want is to be a member of your site.
Good luck with Herpes Anonymous in the future, you are going to need it!
My final email to Herpes Anonymous:
For your information, I plan to post the attached text file anywhere I can on the Internet.
If you feel that anything within it is untrue, please let me know what it is, so that I can correct it. I do not want to be accused of twisting the facts.
(I attached a copy of this report to this last email)
So ends our exchange of emails...
Herpes is a very painful disease, and creates a good deal of insecurities in its victims. A site designed to help people suffering from this affliction should provide a comforting, supportive, and positive atmosphere. Clearly Herpes Anonymous does not!
Their only concern seems to be in controlling their membership and perpetuating their dictatorship.
I hope that the Herpes Anonymous Admin eventually sees this site for what it is, and takes steps to run it in a more open-minded, and non-controlling way. In other words, in a way that benefits their members, and not their own egos.
What is my advice to anyone who feels that Herpes Anonymous might provide a comforting, supportive, and positive experience?
Run like hell the other way!
There has got to be a better way of running a community for people with this disease, and these social issues, than the way Herpes Anonymous runs their community.
Smooth sailing in your journey!