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Subject: "HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Oct-11-09, 09:52 AM (CST)
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"HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
 
   I'm a fool and had unprotected sex with this guy I met back in March. We were together for about 4 weeks and then it ended.

We hooked up again a couple of weeks ago and I haven't seen him since.

I thought casual sex was what I wanted with him, but it's not.

I feel:
-stupid
-ashamed
-like a bad mom
-weak
-pathetic
-and terrified

It gets worse. I have found out that he's really "out there", even scoping women online and someone even warned me to stay away from him. Little too late though.

Naturally my first thought is HIV. I am getting tested on Wednesday and will retest again.

My question is - would I show any sort of early signs if I have HIV and what are the timelines?

I can't sleep, I can't eat, I was sick throwing up Thurs nite and missed work on Friday b/c of my nerves.

I swear if I get through this, I am so taking better care of myself.

I'm an educated, smart career woman, and I feel so stupid and I can't shake it.


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  Subject     Author     Message Date     ID  
  AJ is pretty busy having just moved... Rajahadmin Oct-11-09 1
     RE: AJ is pretty busy having just moved... C16679admin Oct-12-09 2
  RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Lenoreadmin Oct-12-09 3
     RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read auntiejessiadmin Oct-14-09 4
         RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Dreamer Oct-15-09 5
             RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read auntiejessiadmin Oct-15-09 6
                 RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Dreamer Oct-19-09 7
                     RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read auntiejessiadmin Oct-19-09 8
                         RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Dreamer Oct-21-09 9
                             RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read auntiejessiadmin Oct-22-09 10
                                 RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Dreamer Nov-10-09 11
                                     RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read auntiejessiadmin Nov-14-09 12
                                         RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read Dreamer Dec-01-09 13

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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15328 posts
Oct-11-09, 02:00 PM (CST)
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1. "AJ is pretty busy having just moved..."
In response to message #0
 
LAST EDITED ON Oct-11-09 AT 02:02 PM (CST)
 
I'm sure she'll be along, but in the mean time, HIV is still very rare in the general population. If your ex partner is not having sex with other men and/or an IV drug user, it's low risk.

I can't tell you how long you have to wait for a definitive HIV test, but you should also be tested for the other STIs as they're a lot more likely, but curable.

You're still the same educated, smart woman. We all have done something we regret.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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C16679admin
Member since Aug-29-06
9733 posts
Oct-12-09, 10:59 AM (CST)
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2. "RE: AJ is pretty busy having just moved..."
In response to message #1
 
   It used to be that you had to wait 3-6 months for a definitive HIV result, but I think now it's more like 3-4 weeks.

If Jess isn't able to answer too soon, you can also check www.ashastd.org. They have good info. on all STDs, so they should have up-to-date info. on HIV testing.

C.


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Lenoreadmin
Member since Oct-22-04
4277 posts
Oct-12-09, 08:27 PM (CST)
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3. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #0
 
   Try not to make yourself crazy. We all do stupid things we regret. The chances of getting HIV from a heterosexual man who doesn't have a history of IV drug abuse in this country is pretty slim.

You can be asymptomatic for years and years with HIV.


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Oct-14-09, 02:26 PM (CST)
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4. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #3
 
You may or may not get symptoms of HIV and even if you had symptoms, they aren't specific enough to get freaked out about.

You are far more likely to have gotten chlamydia than HIV, so make sure you get tested for other stds besides HIV.

A 3 month HIV test is conclusive. You can test for chlamydia and gonorrhea at a week and syphilis (uncommon in the US and Canada) at 6 weeks.

No worries, ok? No guilt, blame or shame. We are all human and have slept with people we regret sleeping with. What would you tell your very best friend in the same situation? I have a feeling you wouldn't be nearly as hard on her as you are on yourself.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Oct-15-09, 12:03 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #4
 
   Thanks Everyone for your input.

I went yesterday to get tested. Once that is out of the way, I'm going for a complete check up with my Dr. The nurse was more concerned about all other STI's as you guys have mentioned.

The nurse said the same things you guys did....but it's still "there."
Three months is conclusive.

I'll keep you updated.

Emotionally this has been a wake up call.


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Oct-15-09, 10:48 PM (CST)
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6. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #5
 
Learn from it, but don't obsess about it. You are doing the right thing to get tested or you'll always wonder about it. I'd be extremely surprised if it was positive.

Don't put off getting the other tests done, and make sure to ask specifically for STD testing with your checkup. Some docs just don't test unless you ask for it.

Good luck, and let us know.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Oct-19-09, 11:22 AM (CST)
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7. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #6
 
   Yes I will keep you updated. I believe I can find out this Friday.


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Oct-19-09, 11:45 AM (CST)
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8. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #7
 
Yes, let us know, and I hope you are remembering to not beat yourself up too much.

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Oct-21-09, 12:28 PM (CST)
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9. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #8
 
   I still get annoyed with myself because it's "preventable."

This guy was not worth all this..........


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Oct-22-09, 04:53 PM (CST)
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10. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #9
 
If you got the H1N1 because you weren't diligent about washing your hands, would you be this annoyed?

Just be nicer to YOU. Take it as a lesson learned, and move on from it.

Aj

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Nov-10-09, 11:36 AM (CST)
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11. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #10
 
   I haven't found out my result yet because I have to go in person and the clinic is one hour away. Speaking of H1N1, I've been caring for two sick kids which has distracted me away from my own issues.

I'm not too nervous anymore and as time goes on I just don't let this guy get to me. I will still follow up on my test when I can.

Lately I'm more concerned that I might be having an OB that will not leave!!!!! I've been fine forever and now this!!!


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auntiejessiadmin
Member since May-14-05
18073 posts
Nov-14-09, 01:59 PM (CST)
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12. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #11
 
Do they know your name or have a phone # for you? If they do, they would have contacted you by now if you were positive, but make sure you follow up.

How long have you had the ob? You might want to post about it in support.

Jess

"In those times you seem to forget, I don't mind reminding you that you are a beautiful soul." ~ Cindy Campo

Paragraphs are beautiful things.

You can google, too.


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Dreamer
Member since Sep-11-08
44 posts
Dec-01-09, 12:09 PM (CST)
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13. "RE: HIV Scare - Aunt Jessie Please Read"
In response to message #12
 
   Hey Jessie,

It's anonymous so I have to contact them.

Now that today is AIDS day I'm freaking out about how most HIV is among Cdn women and most get it from unprotected sex.

I will try and go this week........

As for an OB, I'm fine.


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