PositiveSingles.com - the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

Herpes Survival Kit - a specially designed pack containing everything you need to combat herpes and cold sore outbreaks (at a minimum cost to your wallet).

only search Racoon.com

"The Good News about the Bad News - 
Herpes: Everything You Need to Know
"  
Terri Warren's new book - which we do endorse.

First time visitor? Please Learn about Registering and read our policy page.
{Home}{Awareness}{Research}{Treatment}{HHP FAQ}{Bookstore}{Bio/Info Page}

The Original Herpes Home Page Discussion Forums

Subject: "There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
Printer-friendly copy     Email this topic to a friend    
Conferences Success Stories Topic #505
Reading Topic #505
Raja
Member since Dec-22-09
1 posts
Dec-22-09, 04:29 AM (CST)
Click to add this user to your buddy list  
"There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"
 
   Ok, this website had helped me a lot in the past few days, and so I thought it was my return duty to post my success story. I got some really good ideas from reading other people's stories about how to tell the guy I was dating that I had herpes, so I hope that this will help some of you!!!

I am 24 years old, and I contracted herpes when I was 20. Since that time I have not dated ANYONE - I pushed people away because I was scared of ultimately having to tell them, and I also hadn't really met anyone I was sure I would want to be with. So it has been a long time, and I really like this guy I am with and wanted it to go further. But I was TERRIFIED about how to tell him and what I would say.

The other day we met in a near-by town to hang out before he went home for the holidays. I was so nervous, but I knew that I had to tell him so he could maybe have time to think while we were apart to decide whether or not he wanted to be with me.

This is what I told him - verbatim . . . I had to write it down and read it to him so I wouldn't forget what I wanted to say.

"There is something I need to tell you. I really like you, but I need to be honest with you and you need to know this before this goes any further. I am telling you this because I trust and respect you, and I want to protect you, and I want you to trust me completely. I have herpes. I know you may be disappointed and in shock, but it really isn't as bad as it seems - the worst part is the social stigma that is attached to it. Most of what people say about herpes is blown way out of proportion and makes it super scary and social-life killing. It isn't - but it is difficult. However, it doesn't have to mess up anything that happens with us, I guess it just depends on whether or not you think it would be worth the risk, which (according to many sources) is minimal if we are careful.

"So where we go from here is up to you, your choice. I know a lot of information and am completely willing to answer any questions. There is a lot of good (and bad) information on the internet, some of which is extremely helpful. I think that maybe, if you haven't made up your mind already, you should do a bit of research because that might help you decide what is best for you.

"I also want you to know that I did not get herpes from sleeping around and being easy - that's not who I am and I think you know that. This can and does happen to anyone, and is way more common than people think. I also want you to remember that I am still me, the same person you viewed me as 10 min ago, but now you know that I have an annoying and inconvenient skin rash - which is basically all herpes amounts to for me."

I had started crying while was reading this just because I was so nervous. But you know what he said??? "This absolutely changes nothing, and I feel even more strongly about you now because you told me. You are so brave and I know it took a lot for you to be able to tell me this, and I respect you even more for it. We are going to figure this out, we are going to be careful, and we are going to do whatever makes you feel comfortable. But I am not going anywhere..."

I can't imagine a better response, and I cried even harder after because I was so happy!!!

Ok, so one thing I learned is NOT to push people away because you think they won't understand. You are not giving yourself a chance, and you also won't see how great the guy that you are with potentially is. If he doesn't understand, then it is his loss cause we are still good people and worth being with.

So don't sell yourself short - if you like him and trust him, tell him!! You never know until you do!!

Good luck, and I hope my story will help some of you the way that other stories on this site helped me


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2375 posts
Dec-22-09, 07:38 AM (CST)
Click to EMail Raven00144 Click to send private message to Raven00144 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list Click to send message via ICQ  
1. "RE: There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"
In response to message #0
 
   Wonderful story. I am glad everything is working out so well for you.

Remember this is not a telling, but a discussion between two people that may become sexual. A discussion all sexually active people should be having.

This just goes to prove that if you do not have the discussion and walk away, you have 100% chance of NOT having a relationship with this person, but by having a discussion, you improve your chances. Nothing ventured, nothing gained-in your case you ventured and you gained.

Raven00144


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
C16679admin
Member since Aug-29-06
9733 posts
Dec-22-09, 07:49 AM (CST)
Click to send private message to C16679 Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
2. "RE: There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"
In response to message #1
 
   That was just fabulous! Thanks for posting to let us know that HHP was helpful AND to share the way you told him. Good stuff there!

Congrats on finding such a cool guy!

C.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
starrattadmin
Charter Member
2012 posts
Dec-22-09, 12:54 PM (CST)
Click to EMail starratt Click to send private message to starratt Click to view user profileClick to add this user to your buddy list  
3. "RE: There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"
In response to message #0
 
R -

I'm so glad your talk went well, what a good Christmas gift

As a side note, you may want to re-think the screen name you've chosen since it is the same as our main moderator's and could cause confusion (heck I thought it was him posting this until I read it).

Be well,
Lorraine

Hoe eet jy 'n olifant? Bietjie vir bietjie.
(Translation from Afrikaans: How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit.)


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top
mb123
Member since Jul-26-09
23 posts
Jul-20-12, 06:41 PM (CST)
Click to EMail mb123 Click to send private message to mb123 Click to add this user to your buddy list  
4. "RE: There ARE good guys (and girls) out there!!"
In response to message #0
 
   That is so AWESOME!!!!! There are alot more relationship-killers than Herpes.


  Alert | IP Printer-friendly page | Edit | Reply | Reply With Quote | Top

Conferences | Topics | Previous Topic | Next Topic

 

Advertisements appearing on this page do not constitute any endorsement of 
those products or services by HHP or its management.

All opinions expressed here by the HHP, its management and participants constitute just that, opinions.
No medical relationship with any participant is implied in any way.
Each individual's personal doctor is responsible for the medical advice and care of that person.