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Subject: "An awesome coming out conversation"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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folie
Member since Dec-23-09
142 posts
Jun-23-11, 02:04 PM (CST)
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"An awesome coming out conversation"
 
LAST EDITED ON Jun-23-11 AT 02:04 PM (CDST)
 
So, as you guys might know, I'm polyamorous, so I have the "I have herpes" conversation fairly often. (It gets gradually easier, but it's still nerve-wracking for me.) I met a guy recently who is also polyamorous, and we really got along well. I was really worried that he would be too concerned about transmission, both to himself and then possibly to his primary girlfriend and his other partners, to consider dating me, and on top of it, he frequently talked about getting tested, being terrified of catching something, etc.

I told him anyway, and his first reaction was, "Do you know which type you have?" I was so happy that I was having the talk with someone who at least knows something about the virus. I told him which type I have (2), that I'm on meds, and I gave him all the stats (some of which he already knew!) He then said, "Well, with all the people that I sleep with, and with how easy it is to catch it, I'm sure I'll get it one day," and we continued the date. I've never had a really bad herpes conversation (just some people whom I never saw again after the talk), but that one was just so nice, since he already knew enough to fight some of the stigmas surrounding the virus.

Also, a friend made the joke that glitter is the herpes of craft supplies, and I sort of gave her a look, and she said that glitter's way worse because you can at least suppress herpes outbreaks, whereas you never know when you're going to take your bra off and find a glitter OB (I believe her exact words were "There's no such thing as glitter-cyclovir.") So there's a little herpes-related humor for ya.


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15328 posts
Jun-24-11, 09:08 PM (CST)
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1. "I love the glitter joke.."
In response to message #0
 
My wife and I joke about her reputation for using glitter on so many things. We decorate a lot of Christmas trees for a charity we volunteer with as well as multiple trees at home. They all get sprayed with glitter.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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folie
Member since Dec-23-09
142 posts
Feb-11-12, 01:57 AM (CST)
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2. "RE: An awesome coming out conversation"
In response to message #0
 
Just an update on where that conversation went: this guy and I have been seeing each other as primary partners for about 6 months now, and it's awesome We talk about herpes sometimes, but whenever I get nervous about it (if I have razor burn, a cold, anything that might potentially trigger an OB), he's so comforting and recognizes it as what it is: a virus that can sometimes be a bother but really is such a non-issue. I need that in my life. As far as he knows, he doesn't have it, but he's not that bothered about it. I'm still using Valtrex and condoms, and we don't have sex if anything funky is going on down there (which is annoying, because I have a very problematic downstairs mixup), but I worry a lot less than I used to.
I've had several other partners aside from my boyfriend, and none of them are that bothered either. Most of them think it's very cool that I've got the guts to tell them. I also "came out" to the online kink community I'm part of, and everyone has been so chill and supportive about it. It feels good to be out of the herpes closet, as it were.

Also, everyone decided the "glitter is the herpes of craft supplies" joke is played out, so we have new ones: what STDs do birds get? Chirpies, but don't worry, it's tweet-able.

I love awful puns like that! Anywho, any time I can laugh at the virus, it takes some of its power away.


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Indigo16
Member since Feb-28-12
3 posts
Feb-28-12, 02:05 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: An awesome coming out conversation"
In response to message #2
 
   Hi Folie

This is awesome to hear. I am fairly active in the kink scene (which I think is how I caught it) and am a believer in polyamoury, so this was one of my biggest fears.

It's so encouraging to hear your story as I refuse to let this b*stard skin virus ruin my life or change my behaviour significantly. Because as you say, that really is all it is, a skin virus.

I just got diagnosed yesterday so am going through a whole range of emotions right now, but am really only interested in hearing positive stories.

Thanks for sharing x

I decided to write about my herpes
journey in the hope that it might help
others. You can read it here:
www.myfriendherpes.wordpress.com/


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alexmont
Member since Mar-23-12
1 posts
Mar-23-12, 06:37 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: An awesome coming out conversation"
In response to message #3
 
   Just have patience and remember that you are not the only one who is suffering. There are many and yes positive stories will help you build your confidence again. Everything will be fine!

plumbing expert witness


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