hi everyone, it's been a few years since i posted here but i wanted to share another success story because reading them helped me so much when i was first diagnosed with HSV2.
the story of my first telling experience is here:
the relationship from my first post recently ended, and in the past month or so i found myself becoming close with this guy i work with. we've been friends for a year - more than enough time to "vet" him and know that he's a totally decent person - but at 26, he's a few years younger than me, and with a little less life experience, i really wasn't sure how he'd take it.
it's been a while coming, and sure enough we were last two standing after happy hour a couple of fridays ago and i found myself making out with him in union square at 2:30am. a few days later we went on an actual date, and after capping off a great evening with a couple of cocktails, i decided that, even though sex wasn't going to come up that night and i hadn't been planning on telling him yet, i wanted to just get it over with.
as we were leaving the bar, i told him "let's take a walk." i figured that the conversation would feel easier if we were walking side by side and not having to face each other. so i started with something like "it's obvious we like each other, and if this keeps going the way it's going, we'll probably have sex at some point. so i just want to tell you something upfront... i have HSV. do you know what that is?" he said he didn't. "it's herpes." i knew i sounded matter-of-fact, which is exactly what i was going for, but i sure didn't feel that confident.
after letting the words out i think i babbled a little bit that he'd have only a small risk of catching it from me. it's kind of a blur, but he listened and then, shrugging, said, "okay... well that's not such a big deal." and he seemed so totally sincere when he said it that i wondered myself for a second why i'd been so nervous!
he went on to ask me a couple of questions, and then at some point between lots of hugs and kisses said those three magic words - "that doesn't matter." i was floored by how comfortable he made me, and he was floored by how honest i was with him.
it's been about a week and even though we haven't slept together yet, it's pretty clear that things with us are going to move forward from here. i'm so glad i did this when i did, rather than dragging out the anticipation. now we can worry about more important things - like how we are going to keep this under wraps at work!