LAST EDITED ON May-05-12 AT 06:56 PM (CDST)
A friend and I have finally acted on long dormant underlying mutual attraction and it is fabulous. We were doing some fairly innocent cuddling the other night and he told me he has herpes. I do not (that I am aware of, but will get it checked out) This is definitely NOT a deal breaker for me.
I am the first "new" person he has been in the position of needing to tell. (He caught it from an ex he had a wee fling with. She told him she had it when she found out, but he was a few months into a new relationship by the time he had the news. He did tell that girlfriend, but it was irrelevant as they had been having sex for months and decided to just move forward as they had been)
I'm all for creativity, and have been online all week looking for some info and have found much in terms of what NOT to do, but not much in terms of what to do. It feels like his genital area is completely off limits and that's okay, but a little difficult to resist and limiting. So, men out there, help a girl out!!
I am creative, and will figure out what rocks his boat, but I'm a little peeved that it seems like me doing any sort of oral on him is out. Kind of a bummer, because I like it. Still, NOT a deal breaker.
I don't have details about how frequently he has OBs etc. and I do know we'll have that more detailed chat. One thing he was very clear about is that, because he had infected his previous gf (using a condom, not in active OB) that penetration was out. Completely. As in never.
Now I know there are plenty of things that fit quite nicely inside me, but I also know that, assuming we grow closer and our relationship progresses, I will want the intimacy of having HIM inside me. It is a pretty special feeling that I know I'm not going to want to forgo.
I also do very much want to avoid getting getting herpes. Even if my friend and I were to become life long partners, I'm pretty sure it would be an open relationship as I really don't believe humans are naturally monogamous, so keeping herpes out of my body is important to me.
Any advice folks?