You subject title is 'Who To Tell' and it should be 'When To Tell'
You do not have to tell anyone about your status unless you want to BUT you should tell potential partners prior to the clothes coming off.
I am one of those that told one time after sex and not before and can tell you it does not go well. I told after the first time and not 4 months into the relationship. Telling after the fact brings up trust issues and it is so very hard to earn trust after it is broken.
Condoms, using meds, avoiding sex during symptoms all cut down on tranmission of this virus but there is no such thing as SAFE SEX, only SAFER SEX.
You know you have this virus and know to avoid sex when you have symptoms but we never know when we are shedding this virus and can thus pass it on.
You can always start out by saying there is something that we need to talk about and I found out recently that we should have had this convo a long time ago . . . . .
Revealing out status is best done in a discussion and not as a confession yet, after the fact telling will be more like a confession. Any time we have these discussions there is a chance of rejection yet we can be rejected for many other things also. Life is about taking chances and nothing ventured is nothing gained.
If the situation was reversed, would you want your partner to tell you their status or keep it a secret and how would you like to be told?