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Subject: "Who To Tell"     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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BeautifulStruggle
Member since Oct-27-12
5 posts
Oct-27-12, 06:31 PM (CST)
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"Who To Tell"
 
   smh where to begin.. Two years ago I was diagnosed with Herpes 2 and felt like my life ended.. I was depressed shut my self off from the world and felt like i lost myself.. My trust for anyone was gone.. I have not told anyone since i found out that I have it. No family members, no friends, the person that I got it from doesnt even know they gave it to me. I guess ive been trying to deal with this myself almost wishing it would go away. However, I know thats not the case...

After the first outbreak I had one maybe a month after the fisrt and for a year and a half up until today I have had no outbreaks..Sex is always protected i wouldnt dare even think about unprotected sex. I take an immune system vitamin daily that boost your immune system I dont know if this helps or if ive just been lucky to not have any more outbreaks as of yet.. My problem is im learning to deal with it just by reading all your posts and taking it day by day \, but how I will ever tell anyone? I cant bring myself to do it .. I told myself I'd go to my grave not telling..

PROBLEM ive had a partner for about 4months our feelings for each other have been strong. We always use condoms recently he forgot to bring one I had none and refused to have sex with him. He was confused as to why we couldnt..

I cant tell him I just cant im so scared.. I hate myself for having this.. Im learning to deal with this and the first step is posting this. I just dont know where to go from here or how I will ever tell anyone..

I should have told him in the beginning but its too late for that. How should i approach this.. Please HELP!!!!!!!

God will never put more on you than you can bear


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2483 posts
Oct-28-12, 08:37 AM (CST)
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1. "RE: Who To Tell"
In response to message #0
 
   You subject title is 'Who To Tell' and it should be 'When To Tell'

You do not have to tell anyone about your status unless you want to BUT you should tell potential partners prior to the clothes coming off.

I am one of those that told one time after sex and not before and can tell you it does not go well. I told after the first time and not 4 months into the relationship. Telling after the fact brings up trust issues and it is so very hard to earn trust after it is broken.

Condoms, using meds, avoiding sex during symptoms all cut down on tranmission of this virus but there is no such thing as SAFE SEX, only SAFER SEX.

You know you have this virus and know to avoid sex when you have symptoms but we never know when we are shedding this virus and can thus pass it on.

You can always start out by saying there is something that we need to talk about and I found out recently that we should have had this convo a long time ago . . . . .

Revealing out status is best done in a discussion and not as a confession yet, after the fact telling will be more like a confession. Any time we have these discussions there is a chance of rejection yet we can be rejected for many other things also. Life is about taking chances and nothing ventured is nothing gained.

If the situation was reversed, would you want your partner to tell you their status or keep it a secret and how would you like to be told?

Raven00144


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BeautifulStruggle
Member since Oct-27-12
5 posts
Oct-28-12, 06:57 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: Who To Tell"
In response to message #1
 
   Raven,

Thanks for your much needed advice.. You were 100% correct

Being this was the first real relationship I was in since being diagnosed I was terrified of telling that wont happen ever again as you put yourself in someone else's position and realize you would want to know upfront...


I broke the news to him last night, and as he was upset I didnt tell him from the beginning, he is willing to educate himself on this more and says we will get through it together.. I will see how it goes

Take it day by day everyone!!! It gets better..

God will never put more on you than you can bear


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Raven00144
Member since Sep-9-07
2483 posts
Oct-30-12, 10:08 AM (CST)
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3. "RE: Who To Tell"
In response to message #2
 
   I have been involved with the hurricane Sandy to get to a computer.

I am glad you broke the news and that it went better than mine did. You can send him to this site where there is a free handbook that can be downloaded. It is full of good information.

Raven00144


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Struggling8
Member since Nov-26-13
4 posts
Nov-26-13, 07:05 PM (CST)
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5. "RE: Who To Tell"
In response to message #2
 
   I have had to tell 2 guys that I had it and both ended the relationship. WHAT am I doing wrong? I don't get how everyone else has such good success rate.

HELP


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Joels
Member since Oct-18-12
3 posts
Nov-02-12, 06:42 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: Who To Tell"
In response to message #0
 
   You are most infectious during an outbreak. I tried using a natural product called Hyperisince and it totally controlled my outbreaks.

Check it out and I hope it is helpful

<www.biogetica.com>


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