Well, I would have never in a million years seen this one coming.
I'm a married woman in my later 40's. I have been married 20 years. I had 4 sexual partners before I met my husband. I did have unprotected sex with all my sexual partners. But just with my husband for the past 20 years.
I've had a horrible year health wise. I became ill a year ago with a life threatening tumor. The surgery to remove the tumor was one of the most difficult surgeries a person can have and I have been slowly recovering for 5 months now.
I just, JUST last week felt myself feel hopeful that I had made it through the hard part and going forward was going to be a happier healthier time for me.
Two weeks ago I noticed a little blood when I wiped. I looked to see where it was coming from and there was a long, shallow laceration between labia majora and minora. That skin is very easy to damage or stress and I thought nothing of it. I had sex with my husband the following night. Again, nothing out of the ordinary.
Each day the cut felt a little worse instead of better. A week ago it was to the point I could feel it constantly, not just when I used the restroom. I got some anti biotic ointment to put on it. Saturday (7 days ago now) when I looked at the cut there was a long line of canker looking sores from one end to the other.
Sunday (6 days ago) it was like an explosion went off. My whole vulva was swollen, red, angry looking, hurt, burning, heavy feeling.
Monday I made an appointment to get in to see my GYN.
Tuesday my condition was no better an another sore had developed nearby. Also I noticed my lymph nodes on that side were aching and painful to the touch.
My doctor did an exam and I heard her ask the nurse for an HVP swab. Right then I felt like someone had dropped a heavy weight on my chest. After the exam she said - ok, that looks like herpes to me but it will take 10 days for the results to come back. I feel certain enough it is herpes to prescribe you an anti-viral. Don't worry about it, it's so common. Me - whaaaaattttt??? Her - it's common, don't worry about it. Totally common. Me - whaaaattt? What? I've been married for 20 years. Did my husband cheat on me? What? Her (please get out of my exam room I'm running behind.)
So that was a complete surprise to me and I left the office thinking that had to be a mistake. But the more I have read this week the more I do think I am in the midst of a herpes outbreak. I am 3 days in to the medication now. This morning was the first time I felt like it was getting any better at all.
I did talk to my husband. I was hysterical. I had to repeat myself 6-7 times before he could even understand me. He seemed calm about it. He said we've been together for 20 years, if you have it I have it too and we'll get through it. We both had sexual partners coming into the marriage and it's ok, we will get things worked out no matter what the test says.
I do not know what to do next. Obviously wait for the results from the swab. From my research it seems a blood test for DH and I is the next step? To find out which kind and if we are both positive, which will affect our future sexual relationship.
From my research it also seems there is no way I can find out who exposed me to this. DH and I both coming up positive proves nothing except that one of us gave it to the other.
What should I do next? I knew nothing about herpes before this week other than it was an STD that can't be cured. I now know that many people have it and live with it and life goes on.
But there is also a part of me reacting the way I'm sure many of you did. My life is over, my sex life is over, I'll never be happy again, I'll never have sex again.
I think I would still be having the same reaction if I had not been so terribly ill this past year. BUT because I have been terribly ill and have just recovered from a horrible surgery this one last thing it truly making me feel like I just want to give up. Nature can be cruel AF sometimes with the timing of things. For real.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you so much.