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Subject: "Kind words plz..."     Previous Topic | Next Topic
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Gone_87
Member since Oct-22-16
6 posts
Oct-22-16, 08:15 AM (CST)
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"Kind words plz..."
 
   I have had the virus for 10 yrs when I first found out I told my then boyfriend and he was ok with it so we continued our relationship unfortunately we were young and dumb and never took the time to learn about the virus or ways to protect ourselves and he eventually got infected. We continued and just ignored the subject all together... 10 yrs down the road the relationship has crumbled, its toxic... I have done everything i thought was right and carried him most of the way and he never wanted to change... Now after so long im through but he wont let it go and tells me how much I have ruined his life and that i have to be with him...And so the guilt trip kicks in and we stay together... I hate how i feel and how he makes me feel and he knows but he also knows that that I will always feel guilty and responsibleI just need some kind words... Thanks...


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15728 posts
Oct-22-16, 04:14 PM (CST)
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1. "That's not a reason to stay in a toxic relationship."
In response to message #0
 
You did your part and told him back then. It is incumbent on him to have researched the virus. Besides that, having herpes isn't the end of the world, the end of love or the end of sex. After I got herpes from my first wife being unfaithful, I eventually divorced her and found myself back in the dating pool in my 50s. I had no trouble dating and eventually remarrying quite happily. Nobody screamed and ran away when I explained my herpes situation.

Some of the others may come along and comment, but that's really the bottom line. If it's toxic, end it.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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Gone_87
Member since Oct-22-16
6 posts
Oct-22-16, 05:50 PM (CST)
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2. "RE: That's not a reason to stay in a toxic relationship."
In response to message #1
 
   Thank You.... Im ok with this virus now more than ever... The more I read and learn the more it looks like a blessing in disguise. I just want him to be happy and move on... But the guilt he makes me feel kills me... I really want to open up I have never told anyone but him I think I need to expand my circle Im just really scared of how they will see me... But again Thank you...


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Rajahadmin
Charter Member
15728 posts
Oct-23-16, 04:06 PM (CST)
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3. "Let us know if we can help further.."
In response to message #2
 
That's what we are here for.

"Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Paraphrased from Mark Twain


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Lost_soul
Member since Oct-28-16
1 posts
Nov-16-16, 08:09 AM (CST)
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4. "RE: That's not a reason to stay in a toxic relationship."
In response to message #2
 
   LAST EDITED ON Nov-16-16 AT 12:47 PM (CST)
 
It's not your fault he knew what he was getting into. I mean it sucks for him but as you said if he was the problem you shouldn't have to put yourself through it. Just talk to him and make sure he has you there to help him out getting through this since you seemed well informed on this situation. Because getting a disease from anyone is easy when your in love but demoralizing as an ex. Trust me that's my story. Lol well hope your out of the toxic relationship or at least making it work.


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