About ten years ago, I tested positive for HSVII. I was devastated and after a few years trying to casually date (didn't want to have a relationship at the time), I decided to be celibate until I finished my schooling. I never had classic symptoms and I wanted to get retested, but as a student, a retest would have been $200 - a lot of money I could not afford at the time.
Three years ago, I gained health insurance and so I got tested again and it was NEGATIVE!!! I was surprised and asked to be tested again a few months later. NEGATIVE again!!! I also got a swab test for these small cuts that I sometimes get which my doctor and nurse practitioner and members of this forum were likely how herpes manifested itself in my body. That turned out to be negative as well.
I took this as a sign that my first test was some kind of error and I was so ecstatic and happy. But also mad that I lived with the belief I had herpes for about eight years. When I thought I would be intimate with someone, I told them this whole story and asked them to be tested. For most of them, their doctors were very adamant that they do not take the test if they were not showing any symptoms. They actually had to fight their doctors or find alternative ways to get tested (at my request).
Well, I thought I was going to start a new relationship so I asked my potential partner to get tested and his doctor said that she would not give him the test and said all the things that members of this forum understand - it's not a big deal, it's like the mouth herpes but in a different area, it's not life-threatening, don't get tested unless you actually have symptoms, most people have it, etc. She also said that there are often so many false positives and causes more harm emotionally so that it's better to not get tested.
Even my own nurse practitioner urged me not to get tested even though she was the one who found out my negative tests from two years ago. But I asked for them anyway and it turned out to be positive. I told my prospective partner and he sort of freaked out internally and even though he intellectually understood all the information, he couldn't wrap his head around the idea emotionally. He said that he was very uncomfortable with the idea and felt that he could no longer be sexually attracted to me because he wouldn't be able to get it up, thinking about how I had herpes. He also felt uncomfortable with the idea that he had already given me oral sex in the past. Of course, this makes me so incredibly sad.
I think I remember reading a post a long time ago about how people said that if people are initially freaked out, they generally don't really get over it. It's the person that who is at least open to the idea who might be able to overcome their reservations that there is a chance they might continue to see you. Is there any hope for me? I know the fallback comment would to say, he's not good enough for you, you deserve someone who will accept you for who you are, etc, etc, but I guess I'm just hurting here right now and could use some support.
The other question is about my test. I got the test at a large university facility and when I inquired they said that they use the Bio-plex machines for their herpes test. From what I understand, this does not use a numbering system for levels (as other tests do), but essentially tells you positive or negative. I also think they are IGG tests. Has anyone heard about this machine and their accuracy levels? I was told that they were about 95% accurate (not sure of the exact number, but I remember it being in the 90s). I guess part of me is hoping that perhaps this is another false positive. I know that there is a possibility that maybe I just got it from the most recent partners (whom I do not speak to anymore and cannot inquire). I also read that sometimes false positives are caused by a reaction to a protein from HSVI? I am negative for HSVI. What could cause false positives?
Thanks for any info and support.