Name: Della
Legal Paraprofessional
Year Infected:
Jan/Feb 2000

OBs per year:
Less than 6

Itchy, tingly, tickly (ESPECIALLY in the morning) in the same spot my first lesion was and also elsewhere in the same vicinity.

Method of control:
Famvir (suppressive treatment) ~ For the most part it suppresses the virus; however, I occasionally get breakthrough outbreaks. 

My Story:
After my monthly period (at the end of January 2000) I had a killer "pimple" (or so I thought) down below. Well, as the story goes, it got worse, I went to the doctor, she cultured the sore spot (which the lab lost), I had to go back a few days later to get my blood tested, and on 02.15.00 it was confirmed. I was shocked (and thought the doctor was lying!) so I didn't obtain that much information. Just the meds to make the pain STOP! However, since then I have done a sufficient amount of research and am pretty familiar with the herpé bug.

At the time of infection, I'd had 3 partners (I've racked up another since then). All of whom I was monogamous with and remained in at least a semi long-term relationship. My 3rd and last boyfriend (of 9 mos.) is the one I believe that passed this virus to me. He got tested the day the doctor told me it was "probably" herpes (02.07.00) and tested negative. Within a couple of weeks he began receiving symptoms/OBs. At first I was convinced I passed to him, but now I think it was just a false negative test result. When I first received my primary OB I felt so guilty. I blamed myself and thought that I had gotten herpes from my second boyfriend and passed it on to boyfriend #3. What I didn't know at the time though was that boyfriend #3 had cheated on me. He had slept with his leasing agent and within 2 weeks of him sleeping with her I received my primary. It bothered me a lot initially that I felt so guilty and bad about possibly passing herpes on to him yet he didn't seem to acknowledge or care that he was more than likely the one that passed it to me. I guess in the end it doesn't matter, because what's done is done- but in retrospect it still hurts a bit. 

I have told my sister, all three ex-bfs, a handful of friends and all "potentials" since breaking up with the cheating ex. I have been very fortunate and have yet to get a negative response. I've even told people in hopes that it would turn them off and it didn't!

In my first post on this forum over two years ago, I wrote back a man named "Chicago" (his post is in the 'Hall of Fame') and told him one of my many quotes, and that is: You are your own worst enemy. There's a Paula Cole song that explains this in more detail. It's called "Me" if anyone's interested (It always brings me up if I'm down). My point is that it hurts (emotionally more so than physically) to have to deal with having herpes and it definitely gets to me at times the way society stigmatizes it (among numerous other things). But, I'm still the same me and things will only continue to get better as long as I believe that to be the case. 

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.